IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the sahara dessert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #dessert #antarctic #visit
Nowadays travellers like to explore
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
kinds
Correct the article-noun agreement
kind
show examples
 of areas
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 Sahara desert or the antarctic, where
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
 is much
dangerous
Correct quantifier usage
more dangerous
show examples
. In
this
, essay we will discuss
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those who prefer to go
such
Change preposition
to such
show examples
 places.
First
, if we talk about advantages,
people
 tour different
countries
 or
citiess
Correct your spelling
cities
 which is a new experience.
This
 experience makes them
visit
 more places
such
 as
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
show examples
 desert or the antarctic. The beauty of other
countries
 and the kindness of
people
 attract
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 to
visit
 these areas. Due to
journey
Correct article usage
the journey
show examples
 of travelling
aboard
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
 their experience and way of thinking change other
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 behaviour.
people
 get to know other persons cultures and traditions because of going to other places.
Secondly
, if we look disadvantages of going
such
Change preposition
to such
show examples
 kinds of
countries
, we get to know that many
countries
 are going to do a difficult
situation
 for
tourist
 to
visit
 their place. They make strict rules and laws for visitors. They make
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 worse
situation
 for
people
 because many
countries
 are not happy with
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
. they don't want let them to
visit
 their own country.That human beings are
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
rude. they always change the rules and regulations for the
people
 who like to come to their areas. In conclusion, There are advantages and
also
 disadvantages for
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
. we should always know both sides of the point of view. Some
countries
 welcome their
tourist
 and few
countries
 make a bad
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
 for visitors so we should always look
first
 at which place and
people
 are best for visitors.
Submitted by Faisal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: