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Band 5

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effect will this have on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#criminals #crimes #prison #effect #society
In many cases,
people
 release from
jail
 and they do
Add an article
the crime
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 again and in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
people
 don'
t
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
do
Correct pronoun usage
itdo
show examples
. There are many
prospectives
Replace the word
prospects
show examples
 that
people
 involve in
crime
 again. we will discuss
this
 matter and
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 reasons.
First
, in many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 the laws are too strict that if persons do
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
crime
, he or she will get strict punishment but in many
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
people
 do
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
crime
 again after
release
Add a missing verb
being release
show examples
 from
jail
. Every country has there own rules and regulations which we have to follow
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
otherwise
people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 to go to prison but most
people
 are not afraid of any strict laws because they don'
t
 scare of
jail
.
people
 tried of their own situation and condition that they are ready to face any kind of strict prison.
secondly
,
on the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 if we see the reasons why
people
 are like
this
, we get to know that there are soo many causes behind
this
.
first
 of all many human beings are jobless, they are facing problems day by day. they don'
t
 have enough money to get food or get clothes, even they don'
t
 have enough money to fulfil their family requirements
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 they snatch purses, they steal things from
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 or houses,
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
 catch them and they get
Add the particle
to jail
show examples
jail
Wrong verb form
jailed
show examples
. In conclusion, Every country has
Fix the infinitive
to provide
show examples
provide
Change the verb form
provided
show examples
 jobs for their own
citizinship
Correct your spelling
citizenship
.
people
 get food.
houe
Correct your spelling
how
 to live and clothes to wear, when persons basic needs fulfil the
crime
 rate of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 will get decrease. In my point of view, In all over the world,
people
 provide
different
Change the article
a different
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of jobs. They have facilities to give them their families. They will surely not involve in any
crime
.
Submitted by Faisal on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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