IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects at university. What are the reasons for this? What impact does this issue have on society?

Technology is rapidly changing the lives of people around the world, creating a high demand for
university
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 with a background in
science
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the number of students studying relevant subjects is well below the required level.
This
Linking Words
 problem seems to be caused by outdated preconceptions, which determine young people’s choices today. One of those preconceptions is that certain subjects are better suited for men. Examples of these include mathematics, computer
science
Use synonyms
,
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
 and other fields of knowledge, which are totally dominated by males. In recent decades,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
noticeable progress has been achieved by many countries in acknowledging that men and women are equally capable in
science
Use synonyms
. Despite
this
Linking Words
 big step towards equality, female employees may still feel unwelcome or, in some instances, face evident discrimination in
male- dominated
Correct your spelling
male-dominated
show examples
 work environments.
As a result
Linking Words
, many women with a natural inclination to
science
Use synonyms
 settle on studying humanities or social
science
Use synonyms
 at
university
Use synonyms
, depriving society of their main talent. Another reason for the lack of
science
Use synonyms
 students spreads even wider. In the past, scientists were paid significantly less than professionals in
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
prestigious areas,
such
Linking Words
 as business and law.
Therefore
Linking Words
, ambitious young people tended to choose highly paid occupations, disregarding their aptitude for
science
Use synonyms
. Things have changed; today jobs in
science
Use synonyms
 are among those with the highest remuneration, but
this
Linking Words
 trend is yet to be reflected in the
university
Use synonyms
 application numbers.
For example
Linking Words
, in the UK, over half of all international students still choose to study for a degree in business.
Consequently
Linking Words
, economies around the world are affected by an oversupply of social
science
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 and a deficit of
graduates
Use synonyms
 with technical skills. Not surprisingly, complaints of fresh
graduates
Use synonyms
 who cannot find a job are frequent.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it seems some young people still perceive studying
science
Use synonyms
 as a route towards a mediocre income from a job where most of one’s colleagues are men.
Thus
Linking Words
, too many opt for a degree in social sciences, creating an imbalanced society where highly-educated
university
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 struggle to find a skilled job.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: