The news media have too much influence on people’s lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

It is believed by many that society is being heavily affected by
broadcast
Use synonyms
journalism
which
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, which
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is considered to be an
unwell
Correct word choice
unhealthy
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trend. In my opinion, there are several cases where the statement is evident
,
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;
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however
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, I
also
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believe that some positive sides can be found in
this
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regard. On the one hand, proponents of
this
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statement argue that societies are being
influenced remarkably
Correct word order
remarkably influenced
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by the
broadcast
Use synonyms
news
Use synonyms
in every aspect of life. To illustrate it, people usually believe what is shown on the
broadcast
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channels
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channels,
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whereas
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not all the
report
Fix the agreement mistake
reports
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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unquestionable. Political parties sometimes try to corrupt the story shown to the public,
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thus
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thus,
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the integrity of the statement is hampered in a terrible way.
Additionally
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, advertisements presented in
this
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news
Use synonyms
are often
proved
Use the right word
proven
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to be fake.
Consecutively
Replace the word
Consequently
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, making a decision based on the information
broadcasted
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broadcast
show examples
is
turn
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turning
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out to be wrong.
On the other hand
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, a proper supply of true information can only be ensured by the
news
Use synonyms
media
which
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, which
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makes our life easier.
For instance
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, gathering information about the current economic and political situation can be very beneficial to society since people decide based on these standards.
Besides
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, to
realize
Change the spelling
realise
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the current trends and culture, there is no alternative to the
news
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, public opinion on any sensitive matter can only be seen there
which
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, which
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is an integral part of democracy.
To conclude
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,
broadcast
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journalism affects our society in an unprecedented manner
which
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, which
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turns out to be very influential. The impact is varied largely
so
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, so
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that some might see the change as an alarm
,
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;
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however
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, there are people who find it to be a strong way of practising democracy.

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grammar
Check your grammar and fix small errors that can make a sentence hard to read.
task response
Add clear and strong evidence for each idea. A short example helps.
coherence
Use clear links between ideas. Try simple words like also, but, and, so to guide the reader.
coherence
Avoid long, hard lines. Short sentences are easier to read.
structure
You set a view and keep it through the essay.
content
Two sides are shown, with some good examples.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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