IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The news media have too much influence on people’s lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

#news #media #influence #people’s #lives #development
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It is believed by many that society is being heavily affected by
broadcast
 journalism which is considered to be an unwell trend. In my opinion, there are several cases where the statement is evident,
however
, I
also
 believe that some positive sides can be found in
this
 regard. On the one hand, proponents of
this
 statement argue that societies are being influenced remarkably by the
broadcast
news
 in every aspect of life. To illustrate it, people usually believe what is shown on the
broadcast
 channels
whereas
 not all the report is unquestionable. Political parties sometimes try to corrupt the story shown to the public,
thus
 the integrity of the statement is hampered in a terrible way.
Additionally
, advertisements presented in
this
news
 are often proved to be fake. Consecutively, making a decision based on the information broadcasted
is turn
Wrong verb form
turns
show examples
 out to be wrong.
On the other hand
, a proper supply of true information can only be ensured by the
news
 media which makes our life easier.
For instance
, gathering information about the current economic and political situation can be very beneficial to society since people decide based on these standards.
Besides
, to realize the current trends and culture, there is no alternative to the
news
.
In addition
, public opinion on any sensitive matter can only be seen there which is an integral part of democracy.
To conclude
,
broadcast
 journalism affects our society in an unprecedented manner which turns out to be very influential. The impact is varied largely so that some might see the change as an alarm,
however
, there are people who find it to be a strong way of practising democracy.
Submitted by jawadul06 on

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task response
Focus on providing a clear and direct response to the essay prompt. Ensure that your opinion is clearly stated and supported throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a more structured manner, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and strong transition signals to guide the reader through your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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