IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school
It is true that many high schools make
students
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
get a chance
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
unpaid
community
service
.
Although
 it is argued that it is not much more
as
Change preposition
than
show examples
 wasting their
time
, it is my
belif
Correct your spelling
belief
 that unpaid
community
service
 should be a required part of high school. On the one hand,
students
 are only considered by their results.
Thus
, some parents have thought that all the
activitiy
Correct your spelling
activities
 except studying is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
meaningless thing. Actually, in my experience, our
community
service
time
 was discontinued because of parents' protests.
Everyday
Replace the word
Every day
show examples
 they called and yelled at school, the reason is only that it is too wasteful for our kids preparing for the university entrance examination.
However
,
on the other hand
, I certainly think that
students
 should be learned a lot of lessons after they have done
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unpaid
community
service
. Again, in my experience, it was
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 great
time
 that I've ever had before. There are several advantages of
this
 activity.
Firstly
,
students
 can have a caring mind. I
also
 thought of others more without a price after doing volunteer work.
Furthermore
, it should be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
helpful work for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. When the activity is about to
picking
Change the verb
pick
show examples
 up
trashes
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
show examples
,
this
 can make our
homegrounds
Correct your spelling
home grounds
 more clear. I know still there are many parents who do not like these kinds of volunteer activities because of their children's study
time
.
Nevertheless
, doing unpaid
community
service
's advantages outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. It is more important
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 a great warm-hearted person than a smarter person. In conclusion, because of these reasons, it seems to me that high schools should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
put unpaid
community
 services as a compulsory part of subjects.
Submitted by huhuhuhu00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: