IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In the modern world, people are no longer necessary to use food from animals or products from animals such as medicine and clothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #people #food #animals #products #medicine
In today's time,
animals
 play a very important role in human life. Most people believe that there should not be any need to depend on
animals
 for daily necessities
such
 as
food
 or product,and medicines. In my mind, our need for
animals
 will never end up.
Firstly
, there are many merits of wildlife in our life. There are many
animals
, society totally depends on them for their basic needs.
For example
,
Bufalows
Correct your spelling
Bungalows
, goats, and cows are the most useful
animals
 that are the best way to get milk, and if we do not get milk, it is not easy to get other healthy
food
such
 as yoghurt, and cheese.
Secondly
,
animals
 like sheep bring cotton to us which is very beneficial to make cotton clothes.
Furthermore
, most people are non-vegetarians and they totally depend on these
animals
 for meats, beef, bacon etc. In spite of
this
, there are many people who are employed in animal-based manufacturing companies.
For instance
, employees in the beef companies get employment and earn income, so in
this
 way,
animals
 are not only necessary for
food
 or products, but it is
also
 a way for getting a job.
On the other hand
, even
animals
 have many pros and we need them as well, but a human can find some alternatives to get medicine or
food
 which they do not need the help of
animals
. To conclude, science has proved and invented many things but we still need
animals
 for our daily necessities.
Hence
, it is not wrong to say that
animals
 have important value in our life.
Submitted by sonia.devi66971 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: