IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effect they have in terms of health on society?

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There are many
people
Use synonyms
 that
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
such
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
 of creams which make them white and
Correct your spelling
shiny
show examples
shinny
Correct your spelling
shiny
show examples
. These
products
Use synonyms
 have different
side
Use synonyms
 effects on
Use synonyms
skin
Add an article
the skin
show examples
. we will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
skin
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 and their
side
Use synonyms
 effect in
this
Linking Words
 essay and
alsi
Correct your spelling
also
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will share my point of view.
First
Linking Words
, companies make
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of items which change their
Correct your spelling
appearance
apperance
Correct your spelling
appearance
 and make their
skin
Use synonyms
 white. There are many creams, lotions etc that have different chemicals in their product which make them change.
For example
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 who afford that
kind
Use synonyms
 of product , purchase them and use them and later they become change their
skin
Use synonyms
 colour,
people
Use synonyms
 use bleach on their
skin
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 to make them white. These
products
Use synonyms
 are
uses
Wrong verb form
used
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 by rich
people
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 who can afford them easily
otherwise
Linking Words
 poor
people
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 don't have importance
these
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
kind
Use synonyms
 of items.
Secondly
Linking Words
, these
products
Use synonyms
 may have
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 effect on society, these things have different
side
Use synonyms
 effects on
Use synonyms
skin
Add an article
the skin
show examples
,
sometimes
Correct word choice
and sometimes
show examples
 bleach on
Use synonyms
skin
Add an article
the skin
show examples
 may produce
ellergic
Correct your spelling
allergic
 or rashes that
looks
Change the verb form
look
show examples
skin
Use synonyms
 bad.
for example
Linking Words
, that
kind
Use synonyms
 of creams have harmful chemicals and when they apply
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
skin
Use synonyms
 after
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
 they
faces
Change the verb form
face
show examples
 problems like spots on
Use synonyms
skin
Add an article
the skin
show examples
 and make them ugly. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 we should stay away
these
Change preposition
from these
show examples
 harmful
products
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, these things have
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 impact on
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 and their
Correct your spelling
people
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
.
Correct your spelling
people
poeple
Correct your spelling
People
 should accept what they are, companies
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
profit
Add an article
a profit
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
such
Linking Words
 dangerous things and sell them for their benefit. most
people
Use synonyms
 are
fool
Add an article
a fool
show examples
 and buy from them and apply on their natural
skin
Use synonyms
 which they
faces
Change the verb form
face
show examples
side
Use synonyms
 effect later.
As a result
Linking Words
, we get to know that
these
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
kind
Use synonyms
 of
products
Use synonyms
nothing
Add a missing verb
are nothing
show examples
 but a waste of money.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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