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Students work while studying, this often results in lack in time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #lack #time #education #pressure
Education
 for
children
 is one of
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 and governments’ greatest concerns nowadays. Many believe that if
children
work
 while studying
education
 standards slip and
students
 may have to bear
pressure
Add an article
the pressure
show examples
 to manage their time to achieve good results in exams. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I draw attention to the reasons why
students
 have to
work
 and offer solutions to overcome the problem. On one hand, many
students
 have to
work
 to cover
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 costs of
education
 as their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 can not
support
 them financially. Many other
students
 feel more confident and independent if they can make a living so they choose to go
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 while studying. some
parents
 may encourage their
children
 to start working meanwhile they are studying as they think it helps them inquire
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 skills for carving a niche in their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. According to a survey conducted by Cambridge University,
students
 who have been working when they were
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 had better job opportunities after graduation as they were more experienced and confident.
On the other hand
, working and educating
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 time expose mental and physical pressure on
students
 so many believe that
parents
 and governments should take steps to
support
students
 financially and emotionally. I take the same view and believe family and society can
support
 them in many ways.
Parents
 can open a current account for their
children
 to save some amount of money on monthly basis to cover their
education
 costs in future. Governments can decrease tuition fees by subsidizing or
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
low interest
Add a hyphen
low-interest
show examples
 loans to
students
 that they can settle after graduation.
Moreover
, universities can offer
parttime
Correct your spelling
part-time
show examples
 jobs to
students
 so that they can cover part of their costs. To conclude, I believe that
although
students
 who
work
 make stronger self-confidence and gain working skills some plans should be set to
support
 those who
work
 just for financial reasons.
Submitted by m_sepahi on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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