IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether it is more beneficial to educate boys and girls in separate
schools
Use synonyms
 or in mixed ones. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain both views and give my own opinion. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that boys and girls must be educated in mixed
schools
Use synonyms
. It is the twenty-
first
Linking Words
 century, the modern age, the time when tolerance is one of the most important
society’s
Change noun form
society
show examples
 values. In educational institutions, children must be taught not only science, the school must be a place where a person's personality is formed comprehensively. When boys and girls study together, they learn a lot about the opposite sex,
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
 to interact with each other, and in process of
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 they are gaining a lot of important social skills that they will need later in their adult lives.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 may claim that it is more beneficial for children to learn in separate
schools
Use synonyms
. It is much easier to maintain order in the culture of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 by following
Correct article usage
the school’s
show examples
school’s
Change noun form
school
show examples
 rules in a strict way by students in
such
Linking Words
schools
Use synonyms
. It is easier for teachers to get used to the students, and it is easier to manage them when there are individuals of the same gender sitting in the classroom. Having considered both views, I think the priority for the parents should be to send their children to learn in mixed
schools
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by oimigle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: