The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, bit it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with internet and what solutions can you suggest?

#internet #information #bit

this

technological era, everything is developing with time. Nowadays, the

internet

has changed the method of sharing and consuming

data

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

create

Wrong verb form

creating

show examples

problems which are not experienced in the past. In

this

essay, problems and their solutions will be discussed with suitable examples.

To begin

with, in the previous years the only source of sharing information was radio but now there are many platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and TV channels. Meanwhile, people spread a lot of

rumors

Change the spelling

rumours

show examples

about any type of news by using the

internet

For instance

, there are different

data

on different accounts about the current problem happening in society

Therefore

this

factor causes depression and anxiety in the population.

Moreover

, these days the personal

data

of youngsters has been leaked.

This

data

is used in crimes.

For example

, sim card numbers and passwords of mobile phones are being used by criminals.

Therefore

, many innocents fell into the deep end.

On the other hand

, there are some appropriate solutions.

Firstly

, the government should ban unofficial pages and groups on the

internet

Secondly

, everyone should have enough knowledge about the circumstances and not share their

Correct your spelling

show examples

codes with anyone.

Thirdly

, the police should punish the involving people in cyber crimes. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conclusion,

although

the

internet

has developed the way of sharing and consuming information there are many drawbacks as well.

Submitted by maryamakram976 on Tue Oct 04 2022

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Task Achievement

The essay shows some understanding of the task by discussing problems associated with the internet and suggesting solutions. However, the examples provided lack specificity and relevance to the points made.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat coherent, with an introduction and conclusion present. However, the development of the main points lacks clarity and organization. There is a need for better paragraph development and more cohesive linking of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary and the use of appropriate linking words. However, there is a need for more precise vocabulary and a better selection of examples to support the points made.

Grammatical Range

The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are also instances of errors in subject-verb agreement and tenses. The use of punctuation could be more accurate for clarity and coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

223 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, bit it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people say showing program such as Olympics, cricket on television is the best way to encourage adults to do exercise. Some say that there are some other ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that the government should make laws regarding nutrition and healthy lifestyle, while others think that it is a matter of personal responsibility. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.