IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #gym #health #club #activities #stairs
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Nowadays, having
a
Correct article usage
apply
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health
Use synonyms
 and keeping fit become a significant
topic
Fix the agreement mistake
topics
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. Some believe going to
gyms
Use synonyms
 is
perfect
Add an article
the perfect
a perfect
show examples
 solution to keep in shape, while others say it is enough to do daily activities.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the debate and give a conclusion view. On the one hand, those who support the idea of going to
health
Use synonyms
clubs
Use synonyms
 to have a
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 and fit
body
Use synonyms
 claim that people should
exercise
Use synonyms
 with coaches. It seems that coaches can teach athletes how to
exercise
Use synonyms
 in
correct
Add an article
the correct
a correct
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 way
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because if they do not
exercise
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 correctly, they will
hurt
Add a missing verb
be hurt
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.
For example
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, some wrong movements can be traumatized to
spinal
Add an article
the spinal
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 column.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, proponents of joining
gyms
Use synonyms
 for fitness promote that being present in
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
clubs
Use synonyms
 may prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
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depression and increase self-confidence. Indeed, people who suffer from obesity introduce those
Correct pronoun usage
who hade
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hade
Correct your spelling
have
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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 problems and could become in shape by
exercise
Use synonyms
, so they will be hopeful and will not think they are alone and abominate
Correct pronoun usage
their
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they
Correct your spelling
the
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 bodies. To supporters of
this
Linking Words
 idea, these benefits are convincing.
On the other hand
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, opponents of going to
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
clubs
Use synonyms
 to keep fit cite that it is not
economical
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an economical
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 choice.
In other words
Linking Words
, athletes should pay fees whereas there
many
Add a missing verb
are many
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 people that are not able to pay tuition.
For instance
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, workers with low incomes can not devote part of their income to pay
Use synonyms
gyms
Change the noun form
gym
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 fees because they will confront financial problems, so doing everyday activities like walking or climbing stairs can be
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
the suitable
show examples
 choice for them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, critics
also
Linking Words
 highlight everybody
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have access to
health
Use synonyms
clubs
Use synonyms
 and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to take a long way to the gym.
For example
Linking Words
, there are
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
gyms
Use synonyms
 in villages, so villagers should spend a long distance and time to arrive
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
gyms
Use synonyms
 in cities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they prefer to do daily activities
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
.
This
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 argument
also
Linking Words
 appears to be quite powerful. In conclusion, I would tend to side with proponents of joining a gym. It seems that
exercise
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 should be done beside a master mentor in order to prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
possible
body
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damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
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.
Although
Linking Words
 it has high costs,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 and fit
body
Use synonyms
 can hold back paying money to cure
ill
Correct article usage
an ill
show examples
body
Use synonyms
.
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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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