IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #gym #health #club #activities #stairs
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Now days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sport is a major issue
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
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 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sport has
beneficial
Add an article
a beneficial
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 influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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lifestyle. It is often said
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 way to have
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 and fit body you join
gyms
Use synonyms
 while others say doing everyday activities is suitable for being fit. We will consider both sides of the discussion
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
 essay. On the one hand, those who support
exercise
Use synonyms
 in
health
Use synonyms
clubs
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 keep fit promote we should go to
gyms
Use synonyms
 because, it leads us to devote track of time to sporting, so it will be our routine activity in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life.
For example
Linking Words
, employees used to go to
health
Use synonyms
clubs
Use synonyms
 for
exercise
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
especial
Correct your spelling
special
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 times after their work.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, proponents of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
clubs
Use synonyms
 claim that there are trainers in
gyms
Use synonyms
 always.
Also
Linking Words
, anybody can
exercise
Use synonyms
 safely under
coaches’
Correct article usage
the coaches’
show examples
 supervision.
For instance
Linking Words
, trainers can
according
Add the preposition
toaccording
show examples
 athletes’ physical conditional set up the scheme. To supporters of
this
Linking Words
 idea, these benefits are convincing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents of joining
fitness
Use synonyms
clubs
Use synonyms
 to keep fit cite
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 do
every day
Replace the word
everyday
show examples
 activities in
Add an article
the work
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 like
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
walking, climbing stairs including
activity
Add an article
the activity
show examples
 of sporting
Linking Words
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
, they do not need
register
Fix the infinitive
to register
show examples
 at
gyms
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some activities
such
Linking Words
 as jogging can be done
out
Correct your spelling
outdoor
show examples
door
Add an article
the door
show examples
 and it is enough to keep in shape.
Moreover
Linking Words
, critics of joining
health
Use synonyms
clubs
Use synonyms
 for
fitness
Use synonyms
 assert that people have to pay tuition while they can
exercise
Use synonyms
 freely everywhere they want by seeing social
medias
Change the noun form
media
show examples
 films. Opponents point to evidence from American people
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
show examples
 see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
YouTube and, training comfortable.
This
Linking Words
 argument
also
Linking Words
 appears to be
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 powerful. In conclusion, I would tend to side with the proponents of
fitness
Use synonyms
clubs
Use synonyms
.it seems that coaches can prevent physical
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
 in sporting times by athletes’ observation.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some believe that
exercise
Use synonyms
 can be done everywhere if you go to
gyms
Use synonyms
, you will pay fees, but it is like investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your body’s
health
Use synonyms
 and fit
fitness
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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