IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that now we can see films on our phone or tables there is no need to go cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed films need to seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that now we can see films on our phone or tables there is no need to go cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed films need to seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Nowadays people have various options to enjoy
movies
Use synonyms
. The debate has been going on around the world that, people can watch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
 on their own
devices
Use synonyms
 instated of visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
cinema others
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that
to enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoying
show examples
the films theater
Change to a genitive case
the film's theater
show examples
 is the only option. I will explain my viewpoint
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
below
Add an article
the below
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 listed paragraph. To
be commence
Change the verb form
commence
show examples
 with
personal
Add an article
the personal
a personal
show examples
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 basic need for humans and it has unlimited data
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
 available to use the internet.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 they can download or
view
Use synonyms
 media over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal
devices
Use synonyms
 anytime
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their own convince and they can
also
Linking Words
 pause and
fast forward
Add a hyphen
fast-forward
show examples
 the clips.
For instance
Linking Words
, any person
travel
Change the verb form
travels
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
holidays
Fix the agreement mistake
holiday
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 and
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 layover
over
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the airport so
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can spend time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
movies
Use synonyms
 on his personal handset.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range of collections available over the internet without spending any cost. There is
also
Linking Words
 adverse effect which
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
show examples
 to human eyes body
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
view
Replace the word
viewing
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
 using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
devices
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
auditorium allowed
audience
Add an article
the audience
show examples
 to boost different
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 they can enjoy the shooting, dolly sound, actions and on
Add an article
a wide
the wide
show examples
wide screen
Correct your spelling
widescreen
show examples
 with large relaxation chairs.
For example
Linking Words
,
size
Correct article usage
the size
show examples
 of the screen and sound quality make appreciate to
film makers
Correct your spelling
filmmakers
show examples
 for different elements of the clips like shooting location,
dialogs
Change the spelling
dialogues
show examples
, characters and many more. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals are fascinated about the
view
Use synonyms
 first show of the releases and make
advance
Add an article
an advance
show examples
 booking prior which make extra expense on
individual’s
Change noun form
individual
show examples
 budgets.
To conclude
Linking Words
 viewing
movies
Use synonyms
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
devices
Use synonyms
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
 and have various section to
view
Use synonyms
 as per personal convince,
Linking Words
However
Add the comma(s)
,However
show examples
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
 are costly and
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 specific option
available
Add a missing verb
are available
show examples
 for which customer bought tickets so it seems
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
 option is suitable for me rather than spending
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
 amount.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words movies, devices, view with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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