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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #women #army #navy #air #force #men
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Whether
women
 should be allowed to serve in the military has triggered a spirited debate. Some assert that the status quo should be changed and
women
 should be entitled to join the armed forces. Personally, I fundamentally agree with their
assertion-for
Correct your spelling
assertion for
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 three reasons. History has shown that
women
 are fully capable of performing well in the military. Historically, there were a host of valiant
women
 soldiers whose achievements really put their male counterparts to shame. One need only look at the classic examples of Joan of Arc and Mulan to see how exceptionally
women
 could perform on the battlefield. In my observation, their determination, courage and dignity, to
this
 day, are still admired by male soldiers and civilians alike throughout the world.
Moreover
, from an enlightened standpoint, female patriots should be granted the right to go to the front line when their motherland is involved in a war. Admittedly, gender inequality was a highly controversial issue in the twentieth century.
However
, now twelve years into the new millennium,
women
 can learn and teach, work and supervise, vote and vote in most countries just like men. In light of
this
 sweeping progress in gender equality, there is no sense in denying them the right to defend their home country when a war breaks out. In sum, keeping military services out of the bounds of
women
 in the information age is unwarranted. I have been convinced that it is in the best interest of a nation if
women
also
 get equal rights in
this
 particular arena.
Submitted by Juhipalit1996 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are stronger and more clearly align with the main points presented in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples related to the performance of women in the military and how gender equality has progressed in the context of military service. Also, make sure to fully address both sides of the argument in a balanced way.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • combat roles
  • physical prowess
  • stamina
  • dynamics
  • cohesion
  • resilience
  • integration
  • gender disparities
  • morale
  • recruitment
  • retention
  • biological differences
  • stereotypes
  • feminism
  • glass ceiling
  • break barriers
  • pioneer
  • groundbreaking
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