IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more diadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #diadvantages
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Nowadays, a large number of humans
working
Wrong verb form
work
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lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of
hours
Use synonyms
 and
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 a few
hours
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 entertainment
activities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the possible advantages  and disadvantages of working long
hours
Use synonyms
 and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of working long
hours
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 are
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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productivity and
people
Use synonyms
 can earn  more money.
Firstly
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, working long
hours
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 may increase the productivity of
people
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’s
work
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, and they manage to do
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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all of the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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working overtime
people
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 can earn more salary, even higher in a double amount than
previous
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the previous
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 salary.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
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taking
Wrong verb form
take
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 extra
hours
Use synonyms
 from their job for paying more money.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
people
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trying
Wrong verb form
try
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 to
work
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 long
hours
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 for
its
Change the word
a
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 good wage.
However
Linking Words
, working long
hours
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 has some major disadvantages like do not have
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 hobbies and it may
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 sick.
As a result
Linking Words
 of working overtime
people
Use synonyms
 do not have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
  any
time
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  to enjoy and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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do
the
Correct article usage
apply
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enjoyable
activities
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, even though they love it.
Also
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,
non-stop
Add an article
the non-stop
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 working process can make  individuals ill,  because
of
Change preposition
apply
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, after
hours
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 of
work
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 easily fall in with lots of pressure and stress of
work
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my uncle
tend
Change the verb form
tends
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 to be sick at least once a month, and he cannot
finding
Change the form of the verb
find
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 any
time
Use synonyms
 to do
himself
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 favourite
activities
Use synonyms
 too. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 there are some disadvantages of working long
hours
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 like do not have any
time
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 to do the free
time
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activities
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 and some other effecting badly
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 health, it has an extremely positive impact to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
efficiency and earn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way more money. I believe that these benefits of working long
hours
Use synonyms
 outweigh its drawbacks.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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