Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all schools subjects .But other Believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are best at or they find the most interest .Discuss both views and give an opinion.

There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether children need to learn at schools, should they learn all
subjects
or only
subjects
in which they are superior. In
this
essay, I will explain both views and I will tell
that
Correct word choice
what
show examples
I am thinking about
this
discussion. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
to learn and focus on all school
subjects
at
Change preposition
for at
show examples
least
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
ten years.
Then
after
such
a time, the student will understand where his strengths are, what he likes the most and what arouses interest,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
what sciences he would like to link his life to. A young person needs to learn a wide range of school
subjects
. In
this
way, the child begins to understand the complex phenomena taking place on our planet.
Students
must focus on all
subjects
at least at the beginning because they must develop comprehensively.
In contrast
, some others may claim that it would be more useful to concentrate only
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
subjects
that
students
are interested
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
. By focusing only on those things that matter
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
teenagers, they would put much more effort and time into the learning process.
Students
would be motivated, and
this
let
Correct your spelling
led
show examples
to better learning results. Having considered both views, I think it should
be balance
Change the verb form
be balanced
show examples
. Teenagers
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to focus and learn all
schools
Change the noun form
school
show examples
subjects
at least until high school. Entering high
students
are already mature to make decisions by themselves about their education.
Submitted by oimigle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: