IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more diadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #diadvantages
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• In our modern life, the majority of individuals
work
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 many hours, withdraw from extraordinarily mini
time
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 for free
time
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 activities and many humans went out of their way to
work
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harald
Correct your spelling
hard
 earn
money
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. From my point of view, working without
time
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 off has more disadvantages than advantages and nowadays most of
people
Add an article
the people
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 of employees tend to spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
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time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
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working without
entertain
Replace the word
entertainment
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. It is terrible for everyone. • There are a number of significant benefits of working hard without
rest
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because now life can not be imagined without
money
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, and if a
person
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 does not
work
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 hard, if he does not
work
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, he will never be able to develop, he
was not earn
Change the verb form
did not earn
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 a lot of
money
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, that's why he lives better if he works hard.
For example
Linking Words
, when they interviewed the richest
person
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 in the world, they only worked, they had no
time
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 for themselves or their family, and they only had four hours of
rest
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 a day. that's why he was the richest man in the world. • Turing to the other side of the argument despite
its
Change the pronoun
the
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 benefits it
also
Linking Words
 has it
is disadvantages
Change the verb form
is disadvantaged
show examples
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, every
person
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, no matter how old they are, if they do not have
time
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 for themselves,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
causes huge negative problems, especially in terms of health, they
work
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 so hard that they do not even pay attention to their own health. He does not spend
time
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 not only for himself
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 for his family members.
For example
Linking Words
, sleep is one of the most necessary things for a
person
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. If a
person
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's sleep is disturbed, if he does not sleep enough, it will cause a lot of harm to a
person
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. A
person
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 who lives without
rest
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 will gradually develop heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
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 and other similar diseases. • In conclusion, having
weighted
Correct your spelling
weighed
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 everything mentioned up and I can come to
conclusion
Correct article usage
the conclusion
show examples
 that, living without
rest
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 is very harmful to a
person
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's health. In my opinion, a
person
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 should not spend his life
to earn
Change the verb form
earning
show examples
money
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, because if a
person
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 is terminally ill,
money
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 will never help him.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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