IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The best way for employers to make their workforce happy is allow them more flexible working hours. To what extend do you agree? What other measures could be effective?

A good way for workers to make their focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
happily
Change the word
happy
show examples
 is to allow them more flexible working
time
Use synonyms
. I believe that it is a not good idea and I will discuss
this
Linking Words
 clearly in my upcoming essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the main consciousness is employers become lazy.
In other words
Linking Words
, rules make people more active and responsible if there are no
time
Use synonyms
 bounds
then
Linking Words
 no single working individual
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not
work
Use synonyms
 and take their
work
Use synonyms
 seriously and it
also
Linking Words
 affects
work
Use synonyms
. ,
Also
Linking Words
 workers do not come on
time
Use synonyms
 and go when they want, which is not an organised office look .
For instance
Linking Words
, in ,India there are no
work
Use synonyms
 laws for agricultural land workers and the reason it
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
farmar
Correct your spelling
farmers
 because they do not finish their
work
Use synonyms
 on
time
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, nothing will be ready on
time
Use synonyms
 which is Harmful to the nation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the economy and reputation of the motherland people going down. To explain it, when a person does not finish their
work
Use synonyms
 on
time
Use synonyms
 which is important to make money and
this
Linking Words
 is the reason
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and companies
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 them but still if the
work
Use synonyms
did
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not
finish
Wrong verb form
finished
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 set a good example
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the international level and we
also
Linking Words
 money and
work
Use synonyms
 contracts
also
Linking Words
 the paying check is worthless and authority and big businesses getting a big loss which affects nation economy as well.
Hence
Linking Words
, the country's population becoming poor and unemployed. In conclusion, rules make a person better and hardworking and they can set goals if there are no rules
then
Linking Words
 state employees become lazy and it's Harmful for the nation and not any country to get a good reputation. So in my opinion flexible timing is not a good idea to give them happiness.

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Task Achievement
Make sure the introduction clearly states your opinion and contains a thesis statement that previews your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples and explain them more to make your points clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and sentence structure to improve clarity and readability.
Task Achievement
Summarize your main points more clearly in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
Task Achievement
You provided some relevant examples to support your points, which is good for task achievement.
Task Achievement
You made an effort to discuss the negative consequences of flexible working hours, showing an understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employers
  • flexible
  • working hours
  • happy
  • workforce
  • reduce
  • stress
  • increase
  • job satisfaction
  • choice
  • trusted
  • valued
  • productivity
  • alert
  • focused
  • effective
  • training
  • development
  • opportunities
  • positive work environment
  • office space
  • friendly
  • coworkers
  • benefits
  • health insurance
  • wellness programs
  • cared for
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