Some people believe the violence in the media such as in television programs and films directly results in violent behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
modern era, some individuals believe that teenagers or adults behave in
violent
Change the article
a violent
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
because of the
violence
in the media ,
television
Correct word choice
and television
show examples
which leaves a great impact upon them at a psychological level. And, I firmly agree with
this
argument because of the two main reasons which I will explore in
this
discourse. The predominant factor to highlight the predicament is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the guns,
weapons
Correct word choice
and weapons
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used in films by filmmakers and celebrities. Adults especially teenagers are highly get influenced by the weapons used by their favourite TV stars. The youngsters initiate them and
performing
Wrong verb form
perform
show examples
actions ,
stunts
Correct word choice
and stunts
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their real lives.
For instance
,in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2021, a
14-year old
Add a hyphen
14-year-old
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teenager murdered 14 children in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
elementary school in America by using
gun
Add an article
a gun
the gun
show examples
.
This
is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evidence of
criminal
Correct article usage
the criminal
show examples
mind of a teenager which might be influenced by the
violence
which has shown in TV programs and films to some extent.
Secondly
,the rate of crimes robbery, abduction,
rapes
Correct word choice
and rapes
show examples
for instance
among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters,
adults
Correct word choice
and adults
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has
also
increased. Because,
Add an article
an adolescent
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adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
might
also
find
this
criminal way to get money for their
luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
show examples
lives ,
comforts
Correct word choice
and comforts
show examples
. A great psychiatrist
Dr.
Change the punctuation
Dr
show examples
Charlie at Hayward university conducted research in which it has been
obo
Correct your spelling
about
that 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of peoples'
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
are highly distracted by the
violence
shown
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
TV,
social
Correct word choice
and social
show examples
media which ultimately leaves makes them thieves,
Correct word choice
and criminal
show examples
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
. Aa well as they behave in
violent
Change the article
a violent
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Summing up, there are several factors responsible for the
violence
in the communities and country ,
however
, it is
also
irrefutable that
violence
which is
performing
Wrong verb form
performed
show examples
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities ,
filmmakers
Correct word choice
and filmmakers
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in films,
series
Correct word choice
and series
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
contributing to
this
serious nuisance to a great extent.
Submitted by mannu00988 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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