IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that non academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate only on academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I couldn't disagree more with the given statement, that
hand full
Replace the word
handful
show examples
 of the population believes that taking off the non-essential tasks from the curriculum, can lead to growth in mains. which is absurd
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I will mention my detailed analysis below.
Linking Words
to
Fix capitalization
To
show examples
 begin with,
Having
Fix capitalization
having
show examples
 an additional syllabus to make them familiar with the studies on the topic makes them learn and understand more about themselves.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 instance
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 many Indian cricketers are not good at
education
Punctuation problem
education,
show examples
 so many other teams are as well
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 brings down those who can't do it, and didn't do it
nonetheless
Linking Words
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, studying extra topics can
have
Verb problem
help improve
show examples
 their general awareness about the society of the world
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 A perfect example of
this
Linking Words
 is in our state we have three languages are additions to complete
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are unnecessary
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 those are there
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 helps to bring every student more global and national
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with local knowledge.
moving
Fix capitalization
Moving
show examples
 on,
Getting
Fix capitalization
getting
show examples
 used to having a number of add-ons
along with
Linking Words
 main fields can develop an increase in understanding outsider approach.
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
example
taking
Punctuation problem
, taking
show examples
 the above paragraph example
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 The same state is adding science to math people just to know him to world works, in a way, having a general idea can help to build proper decisions when we have to crack a tough nut. In Summary, if we analyse the
essay
Punctuation problem
essay,
show examples
 we can see that having more fields to study
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can bring the students to learn more about the development of themselves
as well as
Linking Words
 the world
not
Punctuation problem
. Not
show examples
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
only
show examples
they can
Correct word order
can they
show examples
 develop personally, but
also
Linking Words
, they accrue social and interpersonal skills by having a touch more than
Correct pronoun usage
they needs
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your essay before you write. State your view and the ideas you will use. Make a short plan.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and end with a short finish.
language
Use simple words. Short and clear.
content
Give one or two real examples and tie them to your idea.
editing
Check grammar and spelling. Read aloud to catch mistakes.
content
You state your view clearly from the start.
language
You try to give examples to back your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: