In many countries, it is becoming less common for people to look after elderly relatives themselves. Instead, the care is provided by professionals. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nobody would dispute the fact that in many countries it is gradually becoming scarce for especially grandparents. Alternatively, the
family
Add an article
a family
member
to look after their elderly Fix the agreement mistake
members
relatives
Use synonyms
Add the comma(s)
,
care
Use synonyms
centre
is provided by well-trained employees. I hold the view that Use synonyms
this
is a positive development, Linking Words
however
, many people disagree with Linking Words
this
opinion. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will discuss both sides and give reasons for my opinions.
Linking Words
Firstly
, most of the opportunities are Linking Words
offering
Wrong verb form
offered
from
the city, it may not be the case that everyone is living in a fancy bustling city. In order to get promotions, many of the graduates would choose to leave their hometown and pursue their career goals in the city, which means they will have to leave their parents or elderly at home. It is advised that Change preposition
by
elderly
should be taken Correct article usage
the elderly
care
Use synonyms
by
people to ensure Change preposition
of by
they
safety. The best way to do Correct pronoun usage
their
this
is to send their parents or elder Linking Words
relatives
to the Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
centre
on a daily basis, which Use synonyms
they
provide Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
sufficient supervision not only on their well-being Remove the article
apply
Linking Words
also
providing nutrition diets that may Correct word choice
but also
fulfill
their body needs.
Change the spelling
fulfil
However
, there are those who argue that it shows Linking Words
an
irresponsible to their parents Correct article usage
apply
where
children are the Correct word choice
when
one
who should be taking Correct pronoun usage
ones
care
Use synonyms
them
unconditionally and should not leave them alone. Change preposition
of them
However
, most of their children are Linking Words
Correct your spelling
often
oftenly
adult who needs to work for Correct your spelling
often
living
. Add an article
a living
It
may not have sufficient time to company or Correct pronoun usage
They
babysitting
their senior Wrong verb form
babysit
relatives
and which may cause their life in danger. Use synonyms
For instance
, children are more likely to lose Linking Words
the
job if they were over concentrating Change the word
their
in
taking Change preposition
on
care
of their elderly family Use synonyms
member
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
members
although
there are some reasonable arguments against whether it is Linking Words
a
optimist or Change the article
an
pesimist
development in sending their elderly Correct your spelling
pessimist
relatives
to Use synonyms
Use synonyms
care
Correct article usage
a care
centre
, there can be no doubt that the potential advantages of Use synonyms
supervise
them in a Change the verb form
supervising
care
Use synonyms
centre
are far overweigh than disadvantages of leaving them alone in the house. Use synonyms
Therefore
, government and non-profit organisations should operate more centres like Linking Words
this
to help improve the standard quality of life of senior citizens.Linking Words
Submitted by yijiaa98 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.