In many countries, it is becoming less common for people to look after elderly relatives themselves. Instead, the care is provided by professionals. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nobody would dispute the fact that in many countries it is gradually becoming scarce for especially grandparents. Alternatively, the
family
Add an article
a family
member
to look after their elderly Fix the agreement mistake
members
relatives
Add the comma(s)
,
care
centre
is provided by well-trained employees. I hold the view that this
is a positive development, however
, many people disagree with this
opinion. In this
essay, I will discuss both sides and give reasons for my opinions.
Firstly
, most of the opportunities are offering
Wrong verb form
offered
from
the city, it may not be the case that everyone is living in a fancy bustling city. In order to get promotions, many of the graduates would choose to leave their hometown and pursue their career goals in the city, which means they will have to leave their parents or elderly at home. It is advised that Change preposition
by
elderly
should be taken Correct article usage
the elderly
care
by
people to ensure Change preposition
of by
they
safety. The best way to do Correct pronoun usage
their
this
is to send their parents or elder relatives
to the care
centre
on a daily basis, which they
provide Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
sufficient supervision not only on their well-being Remove the article
apply
also
providing nutrition diets that may Correct word choice
but also
fulfill
their body needs.
Change the spelling
fulfil
However
, there are those who argue that it shows an
irresponsible to their parents Correct article usage
apply
where
children are the Correct word choice
when
one
who should be taking Correct pronoun usage
ones
care
them
unconditionally and should not leave them alone. Change preposition
of them
However
, most of their children are Correct your spelling
often
oftenly
adult who needs to work for Correct your spelling
often
living
. Add an article
a living
It
may not have sufficient time to company or Correct pronoun usage
They
babysitting
their senior Wrong verb form
babysit
relatives
and which may cause their life in danger. For instance
, children are more likely to lose the
job if they were over concentrating Change the word
their
in
taking Change preposition
on
care
of their elderly family member
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
members
although
there are some reasonable arguments against whether it is a
optimist or Change the article
an
pesimist
development in sending their elderly Correct your spelling
pessimist
relatives
to care
Correct article usage
a care
centre
, there can be no doubt that the potential advantages of supervise
them in a Change the verb form
supervising
care
centre
are far overweigh than disadvantages of leaving them alone in the house. Therefore
, government and non-profit organisations should operate more centres like this
to help improve the standard quality of life of senior citizens.Submitted by yijiaa98 on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.