IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Crimes and other kinds of information on television and newspaper have adverse consequences. This kind of information to be restricted to be shown in media. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#crimes #kinds #information #television #newspaper #consequences #media
It is very common that TV channels and other sources of entertainment are flooded with a lot of not-so-pleasant
information
 which can have fatal results if showcased. I completely support the fact that
this
 kind of
information
 should be banned to a certain level. The below essay
further
 explains the reasons behind the advocation.
To begin
 with, the reach of
information
 has gone to another level now and people of all age groups stay up-to-date with the daily happenings around the world and a young mind is no exception. Telecasting
such
 sort of
information
 can impact a child’s mind immensely as he is very young to absorb all
this
.
Moreover
, these channels divert the attention of pupils from their studies and can
also
 be mentally harassing.
For instance
 – Sony channel telecasted Nirbhaya's case with great details which
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
impacted juveniles’ minds gravely.
Lastly
, these sources help criminals to learn different ways of attempting illegal activities;
thus
,
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 in increasing the crime rates in societies. To sum up,
this
 kind of abusive
information
 should be kept away from the reach of the general public to avoid disruptions of young minds.
Submitted by ankush04sag on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Desensitize: To make someone less likely to feel shock or distress at scenes of cruelty or suffering by overexposure to such images.
  • Sensationalism: The use of exciting or shocking stories at the expense of accuracy, to provoke public interest or excitement.
  • Media Ethics: Principles and standards of conduct relating to the role and responsibilities of press and broadcast professionals.
  • Perception: The way in which something is regarded, understood, or interpreted.
  • Ignorance: Lack of knowledge or information.
  • Balance in Reporting: Presenting both sides of an issue or argument to provide a fair understanding.
  • Preparedness: A state of readiness, especially for unexpected events or emergencies.
  • Social Learning Theory: A theory that suggests people learn from observing others, including the behaviors, attitudes, and outcomes of those behaviors.
  • PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder): A mental health condition triggered by experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event.
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