IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

#noise #places #cities
It is often considered that urban cities
found
Add a missing verb
are found
show examples
 to have more
noise
pollution
, mostly in social
places
. In my, the inclination towards
noise
 in crowded
places
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 soaring to the
next
 level which is harmful to the environment.
This
 essay
further
 elaborates my view and
thus
 leads to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the
first
 and foremost cause behind is that people are unaware of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
harmful effects of sound
pollution
 on the environment as well as on nature
also
. Another striking reason is that the masses want to enjoy their life, and for making it more memorable they use to organize parties which involve huge decibel sound systems.
However
, the increasing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
 of the major causes of noisy
places
such
 as using unnecessary horns in traffic areas and using sounds on roads.
For instance
, a survey conducted by the Times of India mentioned in their article that
noise
pollution
 has been rising day by day in metropolitan cities because people are unaware and do not concerned about nature.
In addition
 to
this
 decrease in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of foreign birds in metro cities in the past. Probing ahead, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 some solutions to mitigate
such
 obstacles are proper amount of education should be provided to the community, so they may aware of it. Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that government should embark on new rules and regulations to control the
noise
 levels in crowded
places
. To recapitulate, according to the argument one can reach the conclusion that
noise
pollution
 can be controlled by making awareness in society.
furthermore
, strict action should be taken against people which break the law.
Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: