IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree.

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
Nowadays, health problems have become major issues due to different kinds of drinks and foods from various industries.
Such
products
 contain a high amount of sugar resulting in obesity, blood pressure and many other diseases. So, it is believed by some individuals that
such
 unhygienic things should be costly which may help in its less consumption.
This
 aforementioned statement holds a valid point and I partially agree with it. On the one hand, the government should pay attention to industrial
products
 and add tax on these
products
instead
 of having a tax on other utilities that are the need by every humankind. In
this
 way, people would hinder before purchasing the item which would result in less use.
Moreover
, preventing from sugary
products
 having a high quantity of carbohydrates will lead to a healthy life.
For example
, almost 53% of individuals are facing the obesity problem. That's why the reduction of sugary items has become a major concern.
On the other hand
, awareness classes and workshops should be arranged for every citizen so that everyone could learn which thing is healthier for their life. According to the literature, more than half population has no idea of the ingredients involved in junk foods and other drinks, so, being using for the sake of taste as well as enjoyment.
However
, if the new generation got awareness at an early age in their lives,
then
 the chances are to be less fatty. In the nutshell, government tax and knowledge of food can decrease the consumption of unhealthier foods, in order to spend
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
quality life with a healthy mind and body.
Submitted by nageenshoukat124 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: