In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different par of their country after the retirement Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is. Provide specific reasons and example to spport your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In different parts of the world, many
people
Use synonyms
take trips to other
places
Use synonyms
inside and outside their country or move constantly. There are a few outcomes of
this
Linking Words
situation which I believe are mostly positive. In
this
Linking Words
essay, the reason and the probable outcomes are going to be addressed before reaching any conclusion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, moving to a new place enables
people
Use synonyms
to experience and see more
such
Linking Words
as historical
places
Use synonyms
, sightseeing and so on.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
may be an experience without any bothering from the workplace.
For instance
Linking Words
, imagine a full-time worker in a company. If he wants to go overseas he certainly faces some difficulties like having to be back at a specific time or having not much time to fully enjoy the trip.
While
Linking Words
a retired
person
Use synonyms
has nothing to do with these issues. So I think it is much more enjoyable for a retired
person
Use synonyms
to move. There are some results to mention when a
person
Use synonyms
moves to a new place after retirement. At
first,
Linking Words
it can help to have better feelings through visiting various
places
Use synonyms
and different
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the movement of a retired
person
Use synonyms
to a new country helps tourism because a tourist spends money on buying different things. So I believe
this
Linking Words
movement involves more positive points as mentioned above
although
Linking Words
we should not underestimate the problems. In conclusion, many
people
Use synonyms
tend to go to new
places
Use synonyms
after their retirement which is
also
Linking Words
a brave decision. It can have many probable good and bad outcomes which I believe is a very joyful decision and can bring us some of our best experiences.
Submitted by mr.haghighat1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points and express a clear opinion.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points and develop your ideas more thoroughly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: