IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Question: Some people feel that public money should not be spent on cultural amenities, such as museums, theaters and art festivals. How important do you think these things are to society as a whole ? Are there any areas which are more important for the government to fund.

#people #money #amenities #museums #theaters #art #festivals #society #areas #government #fund
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Certain folks around the world believe that public revenue must not spend on traditional cultural
facilities
 like Festivals of art, theatres and museums. In my point of view, it is crucially important to invest money in cultural places and the impending essay
also
 elaborates that lawenforment offices should pay for some other areas. There are many reasons why
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public funds should spend on cultural places by the government. To start with, a country is well-known for its cultural
identification
Replace the word
identity
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 and investing money in these
facilities
 may contribute to preventing
destroying
Replace the word
destruction
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 causing new talent will grow and
besides
that
Add a comma
,that
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 an increasing amount of pay will be beneficial for the government by selling
Add an article
the
a
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ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
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.
For example
, Egypt invests almost 4 million dollars monthly on the
renovision
Correct your spelling
renovation
revision
 of theatres and having yearly Festivals.
However
, there are some individuals
who
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whom
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 that argue tax income must be spent on educational areas.
To begin
 with, building new learning environments may contribute to people gaining knowledge which in turn leads to the community having an increasing number of professionals with academic skills in the future;
additionally
, investing money from public revenue on constructing new libraries
also
 may result in a significant increase in the number of educator spending time in libraries preparing lessons or homework.
For instance
, the times announced that almost 2000 libraries were built in Toronto with more
facilities
. In conclusion, it is true that some individuals do not like to pay for improving
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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traditional
Correct your spelling
amenities
aminities
Correct your spelling
amenities
. From my point of view, it is
vital
Change the adjective
vitally
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 important to invest in cultural
facilities
Correct your spelling
because
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 it is
Correct your spelling
identification
adentification
Correct article usage
the adentification
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 of a nation and
also
 building educational places are crucial
Correct your spelling
important
importance
Correct word choice
and importan
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importan
Correct your spelling
important
 due to
have
Change the verb form
having
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litirated
Correct your spelling
litigated
 people in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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