Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new town rather shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
modern era, some individuals support the opinion that it would be better if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public money will
utilized
Change the verb form
utilize
be utilized
show examples
in the construction of public
parks
Use synonyms
as well as
sports
Use synonyms
centres
Use synonyms
by the bureaucracy rather than shopping malls in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
metropolitan cities. I,
however
Linking Words
, agree with the provided assertion and I will illuminate the logical reasons to support my opinion in
this
Linking Words
discourse. The
first
Linking Words
and foremost reason is the concern regards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
opportunities for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescent. In
this
Linking Words
contemporary era, people
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to a sedentary lifestyle due to their
hactic
Correct your spelling
hectic
work schedule and due to the pressure of academic studies
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters do not get
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough time to pursue their interest in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
. It has been shown in the studies conducted by
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
health
Use synonyms
organization in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2020 that 75
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of humans suffering from
health
Use synonyms
ailments
such
Linking Words
obesity
Change preposition
as obesity
show examples
,
cardio
Correct word choice
and cardio
show examples
problems due to lack of physical activity and exercise as well as the youngsters are migrating from local towns to
another cities
Replace the adjective
another city
other cities
show examples
because of the improper
sports
Use synonyms
facilities in
sports
Use synonyms
centres
Use synonyms
in their towns.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the biodiversity issues are rapidly increasing at
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
very large scale deforestation,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
could be reduced to a great extent if the cities would be equipped
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
more and more public
parks
Use synonyms
as these
parks
Use synonyms
would spread more and more
greenary
Correct your spelling
greenery
which leads to a pollution free ecosystem.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the adolescent might not face any challenges in pursuing their career in
sports
Use synonyms
and will explore more and more opportunities in the
sports
Use synonyms
field,if the
sports
Use synonyms
centres
Use synonyms
will be well equipped
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
the proper
sports
Use synonyms
facilities. Summing up, I reiterate my statement that the government should make the best advantage of public capital or money in the construction of public
parks
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
centres
Use synonyms
as the public
health
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
opportunities are
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
significant
instead
Linking Words
of building shopping malls as the internet provides a great platform for e-commerce for online shopping .
Submitted by mannu00988 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: