Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new town rather shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parks #sports #facilities #town #malls

this

modern era, some individuals support the opinion that it would be better if

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public money will

utilized

Change the verb form

utilize

be utilized

show examples

in the construction of public

parks

as well as

sports

centres

by the bureaucracy rather than shopping malls in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

metropolitan cities. I,

however

, agree with the provided assertion and I will illuminate the logical reasons to support my opinion in

this

discourse. The

first

and foremost reason is the concern regards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

health

and

sports

opportunities for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adolescent. In

this

contemporary era, people

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to a sedentary lifestyle due to their

hactic

Correct your spelling

hectic

work schedule and due to the pressure of academic studies

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters do not get

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

enough time to pursue their interest in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

. It has been shown in the studies conducted by

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

health

organization in

year

Change the article

the year

show examples

2020 that 75

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of humans suffering from

health

ailments

such

obesity

Change preposition

as obesity

show examples

cardio

Correct word choice

and cardio

show examples

problems due to lack of physical activity and exercise as well as the youngsters are migrating from local towns to

another cities

Replace the adjective

another city

other cities

show examples

because of the improper

sports

facilities in

sports

centres

in their towns.

Secondly

, the biodiversity issues are rapidly increasing at

Remove the article

apply

show examples

very large scale deforestation,

for

example

Add the comma(s)

,example

show examples

could be reduced to a great extent if the cities would be equipped

Change preposition

with

show examples

more and more public

parks

as these

parks

would spread more and more

greenary

Correct your spelling

greenery

which leads to a pollution free ecosystem.

Moreover

, the adolescent might not face any challenges in pursuing their career in

sports

and will explore more and more opportunities in the

sports

field,if the

sports

centres

will be well equipped

Change preposition

with

show examples

the proper

sports

facilities. Summing up, I reiterate my statement that the government should make the best advantage of public capital or money in the construction of public

parks

and

sports

centres

as the public

health

and

sports

opportunities are

Correct your spelling

quite

show examples

quiet

Correct your spelling

quite

show examples

significant

instead

of building shopping malls as the internet provides a great platform for e-commerce for online shopping .

Submitted by mannu00988 on Sat Oct 08 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

323 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new town rather shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Culture around the world has become more similar to the other countries then it was before. State reasons, example and conclude if it is a positive or negative trend?

Many people use distance-leanring programmes (study material post, TV, internet, etc) to study at home, but some people think that it can not bring the same benefit of attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should bot be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Governments should support care vs fiannce for retired people while others believe that they should save money when they get older. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+