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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more diadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #diadvantages
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Nowadays ,there is no doubt that
people
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 had long
hours
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 of tasks than having moments to relax.
People
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 are busy doing money and promotion and forget that
life
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 should be balanced to have good
health
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. While these
offers
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offer
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 a few advantages, there are
also
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 some disadvantages which are worth considering. There are two main benefits of working long
hours
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.
Firstly
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, through long
hours
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 of
work
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, you gain
a
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apply
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promotion from your company. When employees, always
work
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 hard and not noticing the time they accumulate, can gain instant promotions for being hardworking.
Secondly
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, though, the promotion you can gain a higher salary. When you are being promoted to a certain higher position they will increase your compensation.
On the other hand
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, the various drawbacks may be noted. In the
first
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 place, working for longer can lead to burnout and stress.
This
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 will lead you to have
health
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 problems like heart attacks and panic attacks. According to a study,
people
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 need to balance their
life
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,
work
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 and leisure time, to have a healthy
life
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.
Additionally
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, it is useless to have a lot of money if you are not going to enjoy
life
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 and
use
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 it wisely for your own good. Having weighed everything mentioned up I can come to the conclusion that , having
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the
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unlimited time
of
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for
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 working can lead you to a higher position and money.
However
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, it will lead you to have a
health
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 problem and you will spend on your
health
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.
Therefore
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, it's necessary to weigh the benefits against the drawbacks carefully before coming to a decision as to whether
people
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 should
work
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 longer
hours
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USE
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 SYNONYMS freedom opportunity It is important to
use
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 synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and
use
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 the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. .
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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