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Band 5.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more diadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #diadvantages
Nowadays ,there is no doubt that
people
 had long
hours
 of tasks than having moments to relax.
People
 are busy doing money and promotion and forget that
life
 should be balanced to have good
health
. While these
offers
Change the verb form
offer
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 a few advantages, there are
also
 some disadvantages which are worth considering. There are two main benefits of working long
hours
.
Firstly
, through long
hours
 of
work
, you gain
a
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apply
show examples
promotion from your company. When employees, always
work
 hard and not noticing the time they accumulate, can gain instant promotions for being hardworking.
Secondly
, though, the promotion you can gain a higher salary. When you are being promoted to a certain higher position they will increase your compensation.
On the other hand
, the various drawbacks may be noted. In the
first
 place, working for longer can lead to burnout and stress.
This
 will lead you to have
health
 problems like heart attacks and panic attacks. According to a study,
people
 need to balance their
life
,
work
 and leisure time, to have a healthy
life
.
Additionally
, it is useless to have a lot of money if you are not going to enjoy
life
 and
use
 it wisely for your own good. Having weighed everything mentioned up I can come to the conclusion that , having
Add an article
the
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unlimited time
of
Change preposition
for
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 working can lead you to a higher position and money.
However
, it will lead you to have a
health
 problem and you will spend on your
health
.
Therefore
, it's necessary to weigh the benefits against the drawbacks carefully before coming to a decision as to whether
people
 should
work
 longer
hours
USE
 SYNONYMS freedom opportunity It is important to
use
 synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and
use
 the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. .
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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