In some countries, secondary school aims to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

Correct your spelling
Children
Childern
Correct your spelling
Children
are considered the future of a nation and schools are
one
of the best ways to groom them. Some
Correct your spelling
institutions
institution
intitution
Correct your spelling
institutions
focus on subjects related to a unique career path whereas others teach a wide range of subjects, both of them
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
their own pros but in the current
state
Add a comma
,state
show examples
a range of knowledge about many
things
is much more valuable. If young kids are given an opportunity to study and explore a variety of
things
they have a higher chance to find something they genuinely like and possibly want to build a career in,
for instance
, a kid whose parents wanted him/her to be a doctor and designed his curriculum
accordinly
Correct your spelling
accordingly
can have a natural talent for art or
paintaing
Correct your spelling
painting
but could never discover it due to the lack of exposure. For children,
to test
Change the verb form
testing
show examples
new
things
is a very important component in the journey of self-discovery. To
Correct your spelling
function
fuction
Correct your spelling
function
as an active part
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,
however
,
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
a huge variety of knowledge to carry out
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
everyday tasks with ease so having only a limited
expose
Replace the word
exposure
show examples
may prove to be a disadvantage to children when they become adults. An example of
this
situation can
be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
a friend of mine who is a
national level
Add a hyphen
national-level
show examples
golfer, from an early age he chose
this
sport and started paying little to no attention to what was
Correct your spelling
taught
thought
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
in class due to which he was unable to learn basic
things
such
as general knowledge and how to do basic taxes. The same goes for other people to stick to
one
thing from an early age and later on face the harsh reality of the real world which requires much more than just expertise in
one
area. In conclusion, there is a well
know
Change the form of the verb
known
show examples
idiom that goes "Jack of all trades but master of none" , little
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
people know that it is not the full idiom as the original
one
states " Jack of all trades but master of
one
is still better than the master of
one
"
this
means had a person with
a
Change the article
an
show examples
exposure to a range of subjects is always considered better than the rest.
Submitted by nina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: