Some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Mobile phones have revolutionalized how
people
interact with each other,
Remove the comma
apply
and
allowing Correct word choice
apply
to
connect with anyone on the globe within Correct pronoun usage
them to
fraction
of a minute. Many argue that talking on Add an article
a fraction
the
Correct article usage
apply
Correct your spelling
smartphones
smart phones
shouldCorrect your spelling
smartphones
in fact
be banned in Add the comma(s)
, in fact,
the
public places. In my opinion, regulation of Correct article usage
apply
phone
usage
is needed in common areas, in order to prevent accidents and provide more social interactions, meanwhile
a ban should not be implemented, since mobile communication plays a pivotal role in our lives.
Add a comma
,meanwhile
To begin
with, mobile phone
usage
is responsible for many mishaps in socialising, crowded area
. When somebody is Fix the agreement mistake
areas
on
a Change preposition
in
conversation
with another person at the other end of the phone
, it is quite natural to be oblivient
to the immediate surrounding. Correct your spelling
oblivious
For example
, falling into drains, bumping on to
other Change preposition
into
people
had occurred while walking, deeply
engaged in a cellphone Correct word choice
and deeply
conversation
.
In addition
, people
are having poor social interaction due to the fact that they are always distracted by the conversation
on the
mobile. Back when Change the word
their
the
mobile Correct article usage
apply
phone
was not in use, people
share Correct your spelling
heartwarming
heart warming
, insightful Correct your spelling
heartwarming
conversation
while they hang around in bustling city areas. Wouldn't this
kind of interaction relieve the stress of waiting? This
is because the person who is waiting beside you would also
relate to same
emotions Correct article usage
the same
such
as frustration for waiting etc. .Therefore
restricting mobile use would help in re-establishment
of social spirit in shared spaces.
Correct article usage
the re-establishment
On the other hand
, mobile phones has
incorporated Change the verb form
have
to
our daily life and work. It has turned into a time, no one can afford in missing a call, because it would be Change preposition
into
a
urgent or important one. Change the article
an
For example
, a call might be from your children before they take up a dangerous stunt, and not answering would lead them to harm themselves.
In conclusion, Mobile usage
in outside areas had led to accidents and people
Add a missing verb
have been
been
distant Wrong verb form
being
to
each other. Change preposition
from
Therefore
, usage
should be restricted, but banning would cause more harmReplace the word
users
,
since Remove the comma
apply
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
phone
is playing a very important role in our lives.Fix the agreement mistake
phones
Submitted by ghm_day on
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Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.