Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is commonly expected that the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
budget ought to be a greater focus on serving the public.
In contrast
Linking Words
,other individuals assume that government should create an investment in the
arts
Use synonyms
. I
am extremely convince
Change the verb form
am extremely convinced
show examples
that public service is
such
Linking Words
an important role towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
although
Linking Words
spending on the
arts
Use synonyms
is not a waste of money. with regards the public services,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
necessarily puts a budget on them for a fundamental reason is quality of life improvement.The
Correct your spelling
government
governemnt
Correct your spelling
government
should give funds to health centres and doctors in order to improve citizens' health.In case not, the overall health standard would be definitely declined dramatically.
This
Linking Words
leads to the spreading
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
diseases widely.
Similarly
Linking Words
,education should be properly invested to make children and adults knowledgeable.
Consequently
Linking Words
,it tends to
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
and growth in the economy of the country.
Therefore
Linking Words
,it is clear that spending money for providing services to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
is significant.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the
arts
Use synonyms
should not be completely neglected for
such
Linking Words
reasons.The artists would not continue their work if they did not get a salary is considered as
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
reason.Take ,
for example
Linking Words
, music and theatre performances that may have to close if the artists did not receive income.Due to that cause,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
must encourage them and give them a monthly salary to improve their quality and provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment to the people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, The
arts
Use synonyms
provide creativity and promote harmony
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Additionally
Linking Words
,they have a history and culture.
Hence
Linking Words
,
obviously
Add a comma
,obviously
show examples
the
arts
Use synonyms
play role in entertaining society. To sum up,the authorities need to allocate expenditure for the
arts
Use synonyms
as well as publicity of services as they provide a super quality of life to the community.
Submitted by ayah14said on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: