In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effect they have in terms of health on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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These days, the beauty

products

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market is on an increasingly profitable rise, even more so those

products

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which lighten a person's

skin

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. There are several factors that contribute to

such

Linking Words

a phenomenon and some alarming effects that could cause tremendous harm to our society's health.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, owing to the continuous necessity to fulfil society's latest stereotypes,

people

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consume these

products

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to enhance their beauty. Even more so among the female population, there is a common belief that without

such

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beauty there will be no happiness.

For instance

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, in developed nations

people

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lighten their

skin

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in order to copy the appearance of celebrities, which often worsens their initial look.

As a result

Linking Words

, more and more women are showing signs of low self-esteem and requiring psychological support.

Additionally

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, individuals use these

products

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because of traditional beliefs that state that white men are meant to be a healthier and higher race in terms of social status,

hence

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affluent individuals will use whatever is available to achieve

such

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a look.

For example

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, recent studies have shown that the whiter young professionals are, the higher the chances they have of acquiring high-paying jobs.

Nonetheless

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, these cosmetic trends could result in some tremendous disorders in regard to

people

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's health.

Firstly

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, one effect could be that whitening one's

skin

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could become addictive and

thus

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significantly alter our mental state of being. If women continue altering the way they look, they could end up suffering from

further

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mental disorders.

That is

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, due to the fact that they will never feel pleased with their own looks, their constant efforts will never be enough.

Secondly

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, another effect could be that

such

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a disturbance in our biology would not only result in dermatologic ailments but

also

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in an increase in the chance of contracting cancer. Famous singer Michel Jackson,

for example

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, whitened his

skin

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over a 10-year period, which brought him all kinds of illnesses and resulted in his early death.

Moreover

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, it has been proven that using too much cream on our

skin

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could bring allergies than did not affect us before. To conclude, in spite of the many factors in the rise of cosmetic whitening

products

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, it is paramount that

people

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understand the pressing drawbacks that these could bring to society's health.

Submitted by design on Sun Oct 09 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

375 words

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