IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some organisations believe that their employeea shuld dress smartly. Other value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employeea #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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Some companies have clothes style for the employees while others focus on working, so dressing
are
Change the verb form
is
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 not important. In my opinion, all
organisations
Use synonyms
 should be
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
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 about working performance. The clothes may not create good
work
Use synonyms
. Having good dressing,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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might attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
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customers
Use synonyms
 but it makes only has
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first
Correct article usage
a first
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 impact. It does not make
work
Use synonyms
 done according to
employers
Use synonyms
' desire. If they have good
look
Fix the agreement mistake
looks
show examples
 but bad
skills
Use synonyms
, the
customers
Use synonyms
 will not get their services again, because they
are disappoint
Change the verb form
are disappointed
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 and there are many
organisations
Use synonyms
 that do better
work
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. Even if the employees seem smart and polite, the
employers
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 are not able to prove that they
work
Use synonyms
 well.
This
Linking Words
 is why I think that dressing is not
requirement
Add an article
a requirement
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 for
organisations
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.
In
Change preposition
On
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Correct your spelling
other
Correct article usage
the orther
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orther
Correct your spelling
other
 hand, having good
skills
Use synonyms
 will create the best tasks that satisfy
employers
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers
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. Both of them want the best
work
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.
Hence
Linking Words
 they give more attention to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
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 real smart
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 than those who have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
appearances
Correct the article-noun agreement
appearance
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. If they
work
Use synonyms
 well
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
Linking Words
first
Change the article
the first
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 time,
this
Linking Words
 will create
good
Add an article
a good
the good
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 look
to
Change preposition
for
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company
Correct article usage
the company
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 and the
customers
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 will want to use their service in the future.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 agree to look into the
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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skills
Use synonyms
 and their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 at all. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 smart look will make
other
Change the wording
another
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 impress
at
Correct quantifier usage
others at
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first
Linking Words
 look but it does not mean that they have good
skills
Use synonyms
 and be able to fulfil the need of
customers
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, while
the
Correct article usage
apply
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good quality of
work
Use synonyms
 is one thing that
build
Change the verb form
builds
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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happiness
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
employers
Use synonyms
. I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
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organisations
Use synonyms
 should directly consider the quality of
work
Use synonyms
 that exactly
prove
Correct subject-verb agreement
proves
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 the performance of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and really make them
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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wanted in the markets.
Submitted by meanpemika on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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