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Writing Samples /
Band 4

some organisations believe that their employeea shuld dress smartly. Other value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employeea #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
Some companies have clothes style for the employees while others focus on working, so dressing
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not important. In my opinion, all
organisations
 should be
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 about working performance. The clothes may not create good
work
. Having good dressing,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers
 but it makes only has
first
Correct article usage
a first
show examples
 impact. It does not make
work
 done according to
employers
' desire. If they have good
look
Fix the agreement mistake
looks
show examples
 but bad
skills
, the
customers
 will not get their services again, because they
are disappoint
Change the verb form
are disappointed
show examples
 and there are many
organisations
 that do better
work
. Even if the employees seem smart and polite, the
employers
 are not able to prove that they
work
 well.
This
 is why I think that dressing is not
requirement
Add an article
a requirement
show examples
 for
organisations
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct your spelling
other
Correct article usage
the orther
show examples
orther
Correct your spelling
other
 hand, having good
skills
 will create the best tasks that satisfy
employers
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers
. Both of them want the best
work
.
Hence
 they give more attention to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 real smart
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 than those who have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
appearances
Correct the article-noun agreement
appearance
show examples
. If they
work
 well
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 time,
this
 will create
good
Add an article
a good
the good
show examples
 look
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 and the
customers
 will want to use their service in the future.
Therefore
, I
also
 agree to look into the
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
skills
 and their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 at all. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 smart look will make
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 impress
at
Correct quantifier usage
others at
show examples
first
 look but it does not mean that they have good
skills
 and be able to fulfil the need of
customers
, while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good quality of
work
 is one thing that
build
Change the verb form
builds
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
employers
. I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
organisations
 should directly consider the quality of
work
 that exactly
prove
Correct subject-verb agreement
proves
show examples
 the performance of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and really make them
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
wanted in the markets.
Submitted by meanpemika on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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