IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
society
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, it is encouraged that young
people
Use synonyms
 should develop
the
Correct article usage
an
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enterprenership
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurship
 mindset and
building
Wrong verb form
build
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 up their own enterprises. It is clear to me that the more money the
Correct your spelling
business
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 makes
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 more responsibilities to
the
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apply
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society
Use synonyms
 it should contribute
to
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apply
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.
Firstly
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, it is absolutely no
deny
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denying
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 that businesses play a very important role in creating jobs for man.
For example
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, Vinamilk is one of the largest food producers in Vietnam. They currently employ around 10 000 workers throughout Vietnam, according to their annual report. We can imagine
that
Correct word choice
apply
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what might be happening if
this
Linking Words
 giant company
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bankrupt
bankcrupt
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is bankcrupt
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?
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.
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 Thousands of workers will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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potentially
Replace the word
losing
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loosing
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losing
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 their job.
This
Linking Words
 might impact markedly
in
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apply
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the social
balancing
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balance
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 and the social
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security
sercurity
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security
 as unemployment will rise up.
Secondly
Linking Words
, large organizations are capable to use their manpower to provide social facilities
in
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on
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 a bigger scale.
For instance
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, during the
last
Linking Words
 two years of Covid, Vingroup,
in
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apply
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 accompanied
with
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by
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 Chairman
Mr.
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Mr
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 Vuong and his wife had been donated nearly 9000
billions
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billion
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 VND to help our government and Vietnamese
people
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 to fight
with
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apply
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the coronavirus.
This
Linking Words
 unbelievable distribution
help
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helped
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 to save many
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people
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people's
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 lives and children. Without
this
Linking Words
 generous
co-operation
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cooperation
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 and these individuals, it is hard for our government to do
such
Linking Words
 things fastly and precisely as they
was
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were
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 shown to the public in the
last
Linking Words
 period of time. In conclusion, universal is operated in a circle. As it is written in one of
favourite
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my favourite
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quote
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quotes
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 that “the more you give out, the more you get back”. The more the
Correct your spelling
business
bussiness
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business
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
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 back to
people
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, to
the
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apply
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society
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, to help them to archive the desirable goals, the more successful the
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business
bussiness
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business
 can get as it will be paid back by
people
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 who were helped by them. The companions between enterprise and
society
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 help to
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facilitate
faciliate
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facilitate
to create
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creating
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a
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of a
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better world for
people
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 to live
.
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in.
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Submitted by hangnguyen.patho on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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