SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT VIOLENCE ON TELEVISION AND IN COMPUTER GAMES HAS A DAMAGING EFFECT ON THE COCIETY. OTHERS DENY THAT THESE FACTORS HAVE ANY SIGNIFICANT INFLUENCE ON PEOPLE’S BEHAVIOUR. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ?
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Nowadays,
violence
on social media
is become
more common. While some individuals Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
Correct your spelling
argue
agree
agrue
that these trends will Correct your spelling
argue
some
bring dangerous consequences, others believe that Correct quantifier usage
apply
it
will not affect how Correct pronoun usage
they
people
act. In my opinion, violence
on
Change preposition
in
media
does bring a tremendous impact to
each Change preposition
on
individuals
.
Change to a singular noun
individual
Firstly
, I think people
often try to copy what they have seen from
Change preposition
on
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
or their favourite characters’ actions, especially children. Violence
on
Change preposition
in
media
these days is very common and children can accidently
see it and Correct your spelling
accidentally
then
they try to copy the actions that do harm to others, that
can increase the rate of juvenile delinquency. Correct pronoun usage
which
Secondly
, some people
can be easily obsessed so when they incidentally see a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
violence
videos or images, they can afraid and start to Replace the word
violent
Correct your spelling
avoid
aviod
strangers.
Correct your spelling
avoid
On the other hand
, some believe that youth crime is not related to violence
on
Change preposition
in
media
. There are numerous reasons behind the aggressive and the characteristic that want to control other people
of
a child Change preposition
in
such
as they used to be bullied, issue from
family and friends. Change preposition
with
Otherwise
, individuals who watch violence
in media
can avoid having an Correct your spelling
argument
agrument
that leads to fighting in real life. When seeing Correct your spelling
argument
a
Remove the article
apply
violence
, people
can learn how to protect themselves from attack and Correct your spelling
furthermore
futhermore
, they can easily recognize the Correct your spelling
furthermore
emotional
of Replace the word
emotions
an
Correct article usage
apply
Correct your spelling
aggressive
agressive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
people
in order to avoid from
them.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
while
some Correct word choice
apply
thinks
that TV and video games that Change the verb form
think
contains
violent factors Change the verb form
contain
does
not affect much on human behaviourCorrect subject-verb agreement
do
.
I am of the opinion that Correct quantifier usage
much.
violence
on TV or video games has a negative impacts
on societyCorrect the article-noun agreement
impact
Submitted by wbvovo on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite