IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think local governments should spend money on art projects of major cities. Because these works of art (statues or painting) could make the landscape more attractive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #money #art #projects #cities #works #statues #landscape
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Most
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the
government
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 need to invest more
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 rather than others. In my opinion, I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 the
government
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 should look after the major
cities
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 by painting some
art
Use synonyms
 but
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
also
Linking Words
 need to spend more
money
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 on facilities. On the one hand, the main reason why the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 it can develop the
cities
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 by making tourist areas.
People
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 can visit the place because of the
art
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 and
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to give a free
promoting
Replace the word
promotion
show examples
 of the city,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can help the economy
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
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 rapidly. When the landscape
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 more attractive, it can encourage
people
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 to spend more time outside rather than inside.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should not just
invested
Change the verb form
invest
be invested
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health. In
this
Linking Words
 generation,
people
Use synonyms
consuming
Wrong verb form
consume
show examples
 more on eating than exercising.
Gorverment
Correct your spelling
Government
 should organise more events
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 marathons or put more
money
Use synonyms
 to build more public exercise facilities or running tracks. It can help
people
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 to keep track of their activities without worrying about
money
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.
However
Linking Words
, investing in
art
Use synonyms
 is good for the
cities
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 a good public transport system that can help the
cities
Use synonyms
 more attractive. In
concluded
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
 putting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 into the
art
Use synonyms
 projects of major
cities
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, I believe that other investments
are
Change the verb form
are also helping
show examples
also
Linking Words
 help the
cities
Use synonyms
 to develop.
Submitted by yumiwong1212123 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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