IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The amount of packaging of foods is a topic that has been getting increasing attention over the past few years. While most agree that something has to be done in order to reduce the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number

It appears that the quantifier the quantity does not fit with the countable noun packages. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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 of packages used, the best way to achieve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is still controversial. On one hand, some people think that the manufacturers and supermarkets should decrease the packaging of the goods they sell, but
on the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some are convinced that the initiative has to come from the customers, who should avoid buying
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 products. The idea that a top-down approach should be adopted, with the highly packaged
Correct your spelling
items

If you don’t want itens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

itens
Correct your spelling
items

If you don’t want itens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

not being able to reach the supermarket shelves in the
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 place has a lot of
merit
Change to a plural noun
merits

The singular countable noun merit follows the quantifier lot, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker since. Consider removing the comma.

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 since
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 would remove these goods from commercialization and in
turn
Add a comma
,turn

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in turn. Consider adding a comma.

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 be a surefire way of diminishing packaging usage.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the implementation of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 strategy is not so straightforward and would demand an articulation from the government to approve laws that forced the companies to reduce the amount of food packaging. Meanwhile, a change in consumer culture doesn't require any
Correct your spelling
initiative
Correct your spelling
initiative

If you don’t want initiave to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

initiave
Correct your spelling
initiative
 by part of the politicians and if the customers stop purchasing
Correct your spelling
items
Correct your spelling
items

If you don’t want itens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

itens
Correct your spelling
items
 with a lot of packaging, there'll be a natural pressure for the stores to stop selling
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 products and, as a consequence, the manufacturers would have no incentive to keep producing them.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in
theory
Add a comma
,theory

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in theory. Consider adding a comma.

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 a decrease
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 package usage headed by the supermarkets and producers would lead to a faster outcome, in practice it would be really hard to implement
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 and, as
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
tackling
Wrong verb form
tackle

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb tackling. Consider changing it.

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 the packaging problem from a consumer point of view would be a more realistic approach to solve it.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • supply chain
  • sustainable packaging alternatives
  • industry standards
  • consumer behavior
  • informed purchasing decisions
  • market pressure
  • environmental impact
  • conscientious shopping habits
  • financial resources
  • research and development
What to do next:
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