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Band 4

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #supermarkets #responsibility #amount #foods #customers #goods
The amount of packaging of foods is a topic that has been getting increasing attention over the past few years. While most agree that something has to be done in order to reduce the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of packages used, the best way to achieve
this
 is still controversial. On one hand, some people think that the manufacturers and supermarkets should decrease the packaging of the goods they sell, but
on the other hand
, some are convinced that the initiative has to come from the customers, who should avoid buying
such
 products. The idea that a top-down approach should be adopted, with the highly packaged
Correct your spelling
items
itens
Correct your spelling
items
 not being able to reach the supermarket shelves in the
first
 place has a lot of
merit
Change to a plural noun
merits
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 since
this
 would remove these goods from commercialization and in
turn
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,turn
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 be a surefire way of diminishing packaging usage.
Moreover
,
However
, the implementation of
this
 strategy is not so straightforward and would demand an articulation from the government to approve laws that forced the companies to reduce the amount of food packaging. Meanwhile, a change in consumer culture doesn't require any
Correct your spelling
initiative
initiave
Correct your spelling
initiative
 by part of the politicians and if the customers stop purchasing
Correct your spelling
items
itens
Correct your spelling
items
 with a lot of packaging, there'll be a natural pressure for the stores to stop selling
such
 products and, as a consequence, the manufacturers would have no incentive to keep producing them.
Therefore
,
although
 in
theory
Add a comma
,theory
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 a decrease
of
Change preposition
in
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 package usage headed by the supermarkets and producers would lead to a faster outcome, in practice it would be really hard to implement
this
 and, as
such
,
tackling
Wrong verb form
tackle
show examples
 the packaging problem from a consumer point of view would be a more realistic approach to solve it.
Submitted by gdc.gomes on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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