IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need Music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays

#music #world #country
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There
are
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is
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 various
genre
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genres
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 of sounds over the globe. The world is becoming a small village due to the area of globalization.
Old era
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Old-era
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music
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have
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has
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 more
importance
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 than the now
a
Correct article usage
apply
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days tunes due to its
importance
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 of connecting the youth with their roots. In
this
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essay
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,essay
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 I will discuss my point of view with some examples.
Firstly
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, there is
study
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a study
the study
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 which shows that listening to
the
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apply
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music
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 increases
the
Correct article usage
a
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persons
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person
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 IQ level by 9 points by improving
the
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apply
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spatial reasoning.
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Also
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,Also
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 the people who do some creative or
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brainstorming
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brain storming
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brainstorming
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 jobs e.g mathematics, Marketing research, medicines etc
music
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 can be of great help for
such
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 gems.
Moreover
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now days
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nowadays
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 therapists are using
the
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apply
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dancing as a treatment
of
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for
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 heart
diseases
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disease
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, anxiety, depression, feeling of loneliness and obesity,
furthermore
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a
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apply
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research showed that 40 minutes
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Zumba
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zumba
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of zumba
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 is as effective as doing two hours of
high intensity
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high-intensity
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 exercises and its popularity is drastically growing among the women all over the world. Some schools are
also
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 teaching
music
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 as
a
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an
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 extra subject
now a days
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nowadays
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 because of its
importance
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 in enhancing the
kids
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kid's
kids'
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 intellectual level and language improvement. Conventional
music
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 or the
music
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 of
the
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a
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 particular area
have
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has
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it
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its
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 significant
importance
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 in connecting the people with their local
artist
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artists
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,
understanding
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and understanding
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of
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apply
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culture, history and language. In conclusion, I would say
music
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 is the food for the soul and is an essential part of today’s life to feel stress-free and to cure minor mental illnesses. Even though youngsters listen to international songs too, traditional
music
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 is more essential.
Hence
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, it cannot be overlooked.
Submitted by ammaramaqsood60 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
What to do next:
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