Some people think that one good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events, while others think that it is not. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals think that
one
Use synonyms
good way to promote world
peace
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is through international
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities . but others think
that is
Linking Words
not, I agree a little ı don't
agree
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onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
little because there are many ways to promote
peace
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such
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as cultural food festivals and visiting other countries.
Firstly
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, Community can provide
peace
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using so many ways. There
are
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is
show examples
more than
one
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way to support
peace
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. Extended research conducted by CNN revealed that food festivals and song competitions
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one
Add a missing verb
are one
show examples
of the most essential ways to ensure
peace
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.
Also
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, it depends on
crowd
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the crowd
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if,
people
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become well- behaved
peace
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will
provided
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be provided
show examples
. there are so many
people
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who are very polite they will avoid
war
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. According to CNBC
people
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's
behaviour's
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behaviour
show examples
is
one
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of the most influential things
about
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in
show examples
providing
peace
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.
For example
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Add a comma
,
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if presidents are polite, Russia would not attack Ukraine.
People
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's behaviours influence
war
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because
people
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are emotional
creative
Replace the word
creatures
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. They sometimes can not make sensible decisions.
Secondly
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. I
also
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agree with
this
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idea because
sports
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events
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will decrease
people
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's anxiety.
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sport
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sports
show examples
events
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will reduce stress
therefore
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, the government should support
sports
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events
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to avoid
war
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. Extended research conducted by Stanford University revealed that
sports
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events
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are supporting solidarity
therefore
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we have to make
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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events
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in every country.
Also
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, When
people
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the sport
a sport
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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they will forget bad things
such
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as being selfish , say lie and yelling.
This
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will avoid
war
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possibility. They will be friends
instead
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of
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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enemies. To conclude, There
are
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is
show examples
more than
one
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way to provide
peace
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,
also
Linking Words
sports
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events
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taking
Wrong verb form
take
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big responsible for
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
animosity.
Submitted by brsson06 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • world peace
  • international sporting events
  • understanding
  • unity
  • cultural exchange
  • diplomacy
  • shared purpose
  • common goals
  • reduce tensions
  • conflicts
  • positive nationalism
  • fair play
  • sportsmanship
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • break down stereotypes
  • prejudice
  • dialogue
  • communication
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