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Band 6.5

There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#factors #people #workforce #money #reason #factor
Some
people
 argue that salary is the essential key to retaining workers in a company. In my view, though in the past it would be true, I am truly convinced that in our modern era, it is not the main
factor
. In
this
 essay, I will
first
 discuss the place of
money
 in our society and
second
, I will discuss today's key
factor
.
To begin
 with, nobody can deny the fact that the level of wages is an important reason in the making-decision process of choosing one job
instead
 of another. It is universally acknowledged that
money
 determines the social level of
people
 and their importance in society. According to a recent Australian survey, 20% of
people
 considered that salary was the main motivation to wake them up every day.
However
,
this
 percentage has drastically decreased over a 10-year period. Nowadays, how much
people
 get paid is not the main tool to take on applicants anymore, one
factor
 has overcome it.
First
 of all, in an era in which we have been seeing
people
 quitting high-paid jobs, individuals don't want to be driven by
money
 anymore.
Instead
,
people
 are currently seeking jobs that offer them the to contribute to community development. Diving deeper, while office-job companies are experiencing issues to hire candidates, the number of craft-jobs applicants is booming. According to the website Seek.com, crafts jobs applications rose by 30% over the
last
 5 years. To sum up,
money
 is still an important
factor
 for job seekers.
However
, nowadays, the implication of the job in the well-being community has become the highest reason.
Submitted by ngumba.pro on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • basic needs
  • career advancement
  • pension
  • job satisfaction
  • sense of purpose
  • social connections
  • workplace relationships
  • intellectual stimulation
  • societal norms
  • earning potential
  • motivation
  • livelihood
  • financial independence
  • professional growth
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