Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to young children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Occasionally some
works
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work
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can be unpaid, while people try to earn money. Unpaid jobs
not
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do not
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always describe a case
with
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of
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scam
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the scam
a scam
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. There are
also
community services that help to improve the environment. Following
the
Correct your spelling
this
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opinion
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,opinion
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this
essay agrees that community service should be a compulsory part of high school. Good actions invariably will remember
for
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by
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humanity. As a matter of fact working for
charity
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a charity
the charity
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, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to young children, assistance for war veterans will guide the world and the younger generation in the right way and good.
Furthermore
in our country citizens must take care of them. Every year people are watching as heroes leave our world.
Unfortunately
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,Unfortunately
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high schools do not always take these cases seriously.
On the other
hand
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,hand
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if
old
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the old
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generation will carry about children’s education, in my
opinion
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,opinion
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kids still will not take up unpaid community services. What is more, it is undeniable that nature
suffering
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suffers
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gratefully
rubbish
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from rubbish
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, plastics, radioactive materials and
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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of things. For
this
reason
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,reason
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children should be encouraged to do useful things to protect
environment
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the environment
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.
For instance
, to give illustration even collecting garbage,
handing
Correct word choice
and handing
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over metals and plastics to processing factories can give great benefits.
Moreover
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,Moreover
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in comparison with other
countries
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,countries
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Kazakhstan has a huge territory. Only by
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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decent things we can protect our environment. In conclusion, it can hardly be denied that some changes in school programmes can give
tremendous
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a tremendous
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advantage
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advantages
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. Not always every service can be paid. Good causes
a
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are a
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vivid example of the prosperity of the world.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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