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Band 5

Some people think should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artist should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #support #artists #painters #musicians #artist #alternative #sources
People
 often think that creative
artists
 like painters and musicians get paid well like others. Many Creative
artists
 are not getting paid well
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 movie actors and other creative fields. Nowadays
people
 in creative fields are decreasing due to less pay. At my point
people
Add a comma
,people
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People
 Like Painters and Musicians are treated as same as other
artists
 because they play a vital
role
 in the projecting culture of a nation.
For example
 In India from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older times to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 those two skills plays a vital
role
 in the development of the country. Creative
artists
 should be funded by Government because they play a key
role
 in the country's culture. Some
people
 make their main source of income as Creative
artists
.A vast increase in technology nowadays leads to a decrease in these skills at present days
people
 are using Mobile Phones to create music and paint but some
people
 are bound to traditional ways of artistic means. Government should provide funds for
Correct your spelling
Artists
Artsits
Correct your spelling
artists
 to maintain their life. in some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Countries governments have made some Welfare Schemes for Creative
artists
.
Therefore
 every Artist should be paid well to maintain the balance in the society Creative
Artists
also
 get funded by Alternate
Correct your spelling
Resources
Resourses
Correct your spelling
Resources
 like
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Television,movies etc. Many
people
 are
Correct your spelling
interested
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
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, Daily we are observing that paintings and music albums got sold
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 very large amount of money but actually the
artists
 are not getting as much amount shown
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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television. Only famous
people
Arts
Change preposition
in Arts
show examples
 are getting paid enough.
People
 which are non-famous and Poor
also
 have
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
Correct your spelling
talent
tallent
Correct your spelling
talent
,
instead
 of giving attention to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous
people
 and celebrities
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tv channels and reality shows
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 to search for local
talent
 and encourage them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they
also
gets
Change the verb form
get
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 publicity and enough money. In my
Conclusion
Add a comma
,Conclusion
show examples
 Either the Government or Private organizations has to give an important
role
 in the development of
Creative
Correct article usage
a Creative
show examples
 list. Some Plans have to be implemented for the well-being of
Artists
 and Private organizations
also
 have to encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
talent
 by any means. More talented
people
 are there in the world with so many skills,
due
Correct word choice
but due
show examples
 to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of Encouragement so many
people
 are either giving up their
talent
 or working for low wages. Every individual has to encourage the
talent
 but not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
criticize them
Submitted by pavan sai kumar janga on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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