IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays，an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 have a tendency to let their children study at private schools，which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 plenty of parents generally believe that it is not essential for them to pay
taxes
Use synonyms
 on
education
Use synonyms
。But my view is that parents
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 spend a large amount of money
Fix the infinitive
to take
show examples
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 their kids to private
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
also
Linking Words
 need to pay
taxes
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 system。
Firstly
Linking Words
，It is unfair for
people
Use synonyms
 who don’t let their kids to private
school
Use synonyms
 but still pay the same
taxes
Use synonyms
 .If everyone let their child to private
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 not only don’t spend their money for paying
taxes
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 enjoy the same or
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better
education
Use synonyms
，it may spark massive
Change noun form
people's
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 interest to spare no effort
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
 their kid study in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 private
school
Use synonyms
。
Besides
Linking Words
，probably numerous parents keep the same points that they spend their money to pay
taxes
Use synonyms
cant
Correct word choice
and cant
show examples
bring
Add the particle
to bring
show examples
 some welfare for them,so they don’t want to pay any
taxes
Use synonyms
 for
education
Use synonyms
。Actually,not only these families but
also
Linking Words
 many other
people
Use synonyms
 still pay some
taxes
Use synonyms
 even though they might not use services at any time in their life.But it isn’t meant that the
taxes
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 which
people
Use synonyms
 pay bring more harm than good.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,by paying
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
taxes
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 s
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 would accept a more and more high quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 which would promote children s physical and mental development.In fact,as a resident ,everyone
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to act in order to make our country
grew
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 up
further
Linking Words
 and
further
Linking Words
 flourish and significant. In sum,admittedly,
whatever
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 families whose their child participate in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
school
Use synonyms
 or not,paying
taxes
Use synonyms
 for
education
Use synonyms
 is necessary that everyone are accountable to do.
Submitted by 416627367 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: