IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays, many animal species are becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem. Others believe that human beings are more important. Give your own opinion.

#species #people #countries #individuals #beings
Of those issues that have concerned the environment, the extinction of
animals
 has become a prominent one. In
this
 climate,
this
 usually leads to the question of whether
people
 should protect
animals
 or not.
Although
 some
people
 support the fact that protecting
people
 is more important, I belong to those
people
 who oppose
this
 phenomenon because
animals
 are part of our ecological chain and a source of food for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. Those who hold
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 attitude towards
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
 believe that
this
 method may exert a signification effect on
animals
 and environmental degradation. To be more specific, the conservation of
animals
 which is considered to be the best way to save the habitat of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 always top of the list of their argument.
For example
,
this
 point can be demonstrated with the case of
earthworm
Fix the agreement mistake
earthworms
show examples
 which frequent dig up the soil to provide nutrients and are on the verge of extinction because of the annihilation of man In order to solve the aforementioned serious problem in short term, I believe that the most effective solution would be for the government to introduce strict laws. Particularly, they should apply serious punishments for everyone who violates the law, especially illegal animal hunters. If
this
 measure is applied widely, the number of wild animal deal with endangered will almost certainly reduce.
For instance
, a recent study by Cambridge University found that the highest penalty for hunters is from 6 months to 3 years of imprisonment. All things considered, perhaps no subject in the world is likely to cause so much controversy as tackle
this
 issue. As for as, I am concerned negative sides of
this
 trend eventually outweigh
positives
Correct article usage
the positives
show examples
.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: