Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money, What do you think are the reasons ?What are the solutions to this problem?

Nowadays, many
students
don’t
have good management
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
money
when they leave school in some countries.
However
, whether young
people
need to learn how to manage their
money
is a controversial problem. In my opinion, college should provide a subject to teach
people
how to manage
money
and the
students
need to learn
this
knowledge. It is obvious that young
people
who
living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
in
this
world which is full of information are easy attracted by anything else.
That
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
means they often buy something that they really
don’t
need. So , they always spend
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
money
very fast.
For example
,
students
like eating at
Add an article
a restaurant
show examples
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
without cooking by themselves,
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing games and like watching movies, these hobbies need them to spend lots of
money
.
Therefore
, if their parents give the
money
to them, perhaps they will
use
out in a few days. The simple reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
situation is when they get the
money
, they
don’t
know how to make a plan to
use
it. They
don’t
it is extremely important to care
their
Change preposition
about their
show examples
wealth. Lack of knowledge from school, because the colleges only teach them academic subjects. While if the
students
know how to
use
their
money
with
suitable
Add an article
the suitable
show examples
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
will benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. With technology developing, more and more methods can be used for
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
money
.
Such
as
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
online,
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
in
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
saving
money
in
bank
Add an article
a bank
show examples
account. So colleges could create a new
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
to teach
students
how to deal with their
money
. Meanwhile,
students
can learn and practice to improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
skills. In conclusion, managing
money
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important skill for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
. It can make them
use
their
money
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
way. Having
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
skills can
also
create
a
Change the article
an
show examples
opportunity to find
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
future.
Submitted by kevin. B on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: