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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

#colleges #students #businesses #school #outweigh
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It's a common belief that encouragement of creating
businesses
 from some colleges to their
students
 when they are still joining
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 is largely negative.
However
, there is a more persuasive argument that
this
 support has an overall positive effect because it allows
students
 to develop their economical thinking when they are extremely young. On the one hand, creating
businesses
 distracts
students
 from studying and get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad grades
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 exams.
This
 is because not all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
major and business tasks have the same platforms in studying methods.
Students
 have to change their way of logical thinking and learning when they make the attempt to learn in both different concerns.In fact, some young people in Viet Nam try to start
businesses
 when they’re just freshmen.
This
 became
such
 a problem that led to a negative result, some bad properties of society take advantage of these innocent individuals to get their own illegal income.
Nevertheless
, the sponsor of colleges in promoting commercial projects benefits their
students
 by giving them the opportunity to experience larger aspects. Due to advances in creating
businesses
,
students
 can explore more knowledge in economics even
It
Correct word choice
if It
show examples
 doesn’t belong to their major.
For instance
, the
students
 who are studying in technological universities don’t have enough fortitude to investigate deeply
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
financial matters in the educational program.
Although
 the needs of society in a professional engineer encompass a variety of knowledge which consist of technology, their applications in actual life and financial solving absolutely. To sum up, while
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
there are some disadvantages in promoting
students
 to start
businesses
 in
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
 days of schooling, It is evident that the advantage of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 new learning promotions far outweigh the drawbacks
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • advantages
  • outweigh
  • disadvantages
  • real-world experience
  • practical skills
  • entrepreneurial mindset
  • creativity
  • financial independence
  • job opportunities
  • personal growth
  • professional growth
  • lack of focus
  • academic
  • financial risks
  • uncertainties
  • negative impact
  • grades
  • difficulty balancing
  • responsibilities
  • overall opinion
  • conclusion
What to do next:
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