IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #poverty #reason #crimes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every day, In the world, is occurring many
crimes
Use synonyms
, society argues that the main problem is poverty while others do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. In my opinion, I agree that poverty is the reason behind most
crimes
Use synonyms
, and I will discuss, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, two main reasons to support my opinion.
First
Linking Words
, it is worth mentioning that most persons will commit a crime because they have unsatisfied needs. So, poor
people
Use synonyms
 are more likely to have need
that is
Linking Words
 not satisfied while rich
people
Use synonyms
 can easily fulfil their needs through money.
For instance
Linking Words
, a beggar is really hungry and, if he doesn’t eat in the
next
Linking Words
 few days is about to pass away, in
this
Linking Words
 situation the probability that the beggar will commit a crime
such
Linking Words
 as robbing increases sharply.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, rich individuals can easily fulfil needs like that mentioned above apart from special cases.
Secondly
Linking Words
, poor individuals have few things to lose so they can commit
crimes
Use synonyms
 without a lot of thought. Wheatly
people
Use synonyms
 compared to poor
people
Use synonyms
 have many things that they need to protect
such
Linking Words
 as property, money in the bank account and so on.
For example
Linking Words
, a poor person
that is
Linking Words
 going to commit a felony
such
Linking Words
 as stealing from the bank, if he will be caught he will lose almost anything while a rich person will lose all his property and money. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 may vary in their opinion; I think, a shortage of resources is a primary reason for criminal behaviour since it creates an unsatisfied need and ,in
turn
Add the comma(s)
,turn
show examples
 pushes individuals to commit
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by valenginis on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: