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Band 2.5

The high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising but not the real need of the society where such products are sold.  Do you agree or disagree?

#sales #consumer #goods #power #society #products
It is often said that the high sales of well-known products can not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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demonstrates the power of advertisement, and can not be an indicator of local
sitizen's
Correct your spelling
citizen's
citizens
 needs. I consider that
,
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apply
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given
Add an article
the given
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 statement is true, and I mostly agree
with
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apply
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that
Change the determiner
that person
those people
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people
prone
Add a missing verb
are prone
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 to
by
Replace the word
buy
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 that they saw on TV or social media. 
High
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The high
A high
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 amount of
advertisings
Replace the word
advertisements
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 made for the popularity of product, because it helps for better sales.
People
Correct your spelling
often
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
 buy
Add an article
a thing
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 which
are
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is
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 advertised by famous
people
, even
sometimes
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though sometimes
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 they do not need
it
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them
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. We can see it even by increasing
Correct your spelling
salary
Correct article usage
the sallary
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sallary
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salary
 of models or advertising
people
's fees.
For example
, over sixty
percent
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per cent
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 of local
people
 in
Atyray
Correct your spelling
Atyrau
Array
buy
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buys
show examples
colgate
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Colgate
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 company's toothpaste because of the high numbers of
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisements
. Nowadays social media became
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 home of hundreds of advertisements. Most of them
is
Change the verb form
are
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 represented as
perfect
Correct article usage
the perfect
show examples
Correct your spelling
possibility
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 to buy something for less cost. Several
people
 like to buy that stuff just because they think it is economically better, even
sometimes
Correct word choice
if sometimes
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 it is not. According to the statistics, to
tirty
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thirty
Correct your spelling
per cent
persent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 of
people
 buy things on sale or with less cost, though
actually
Add a comma
,actually
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 it is useless. To conclude,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 thing that we see
on
Change preposition
in
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advertisings
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
 is useless. Before
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying something, even
by
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for
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 less
price
Add a comma
,price
show examples
 we have to think about our needs, and
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add a comma
,wether
show examples
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
this
 is just an effect of advertising.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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