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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities ( Advantages & Disadvantages both views and give your opinions)

#families #move #job #opportunities
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The world is changing rapidly. Today,
people
 have many challenges because there is high demand for modern facilities in their lifetime. The chances to
work
 abroad are more than they have ever been in history. Some
people
 bring their
families
 to oversea countries while they are working.
Although
, some
people
work
 alone in another
country
 and leave their
families
 in
homeland
Correct pronoun usage
their homeland
show examples
. I will explain both merits as well as demerits in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, there are many benefits to working overseas.
For example
, there are many
people
 working outside of our
country
. Some
people
 have been working for many years in overseas countries and they stay together with their
families
. The partners can
work
also
 and kids have
Add an article
a
show examples
free education in some countries.
As a result
, The workers have a reasonable income and
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
able
Replace the word
ability
show examples
 to support their
families
 and friends in their home
country
. If
,
Remove the comma
apply
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people
 have
a better salaries
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better salary
better salaries
show examples
 in the oversea
country
, they would stay with modern facilities in
a different environments
Correct the article-noun agreement
different environments
a different environment
show examples
.
Additionally
, they can get plenty of
work
 experience due to many changes in job availabilities
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas. In
this
 case, it is positive effects on
people
 who
work
 abroad.
Secondly
, some
people
 like to
work
 alone in an oversea
country
 because they like to save money as much as they can.
For instance
, some
people
work
 from morning to night seven days per week without a day off. As a consequence, they don’t have a life balance between
work
 and society.
Besides
, they will be got homesick.
Finally
,
people
 have a lot of money but they don’t have time to spend it with
families
 or friends. To sum up, there are both advantages and disadvantages to any choice on
this
 issue. In my opinion,
people
 should decide according to their situation.
Submitted by kokozay on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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