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Band 2.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
The majority of
people
 emphasize on size of
salary
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the salary
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.
Furthermore
, employees usually overwork to achieve their goals. To my mind,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large salary influence
on
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apply
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quality
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the quality
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 of living and degree of success. In
this
 essay, I am going to examine
importance
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the importance
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 of
this
 point of view.
To begin
 with, nowadays in
capitalistic
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the capitalistic
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 structure of society the standard of living depends on
size
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the size
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 of
wage
Correct article usage
the wage
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.
That is
 why rich
people
 can allow themselves
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better education, medical insurance and
traveling
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travel
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.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
75% of employees increasingly choose the perspective of making a lot of money
than
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over
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 satisfaction with work.
Moreover
, wealthy
people
 are most likely to be happier and a small percentage of them have anxiety and stress. To give
illustration
Add an article
an illustration
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, according to the
researching
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research
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, stress is the crucial reason
of
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for
show examples
 cancer. So, there are more employees who have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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 to increase
length
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the length
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 of their lives.
In addition
,
people
 do not have to be satisfied with their job to live happily. Once the salary is big enough, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great possibility to spend it on your own pleasure in
a
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your
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 free time.
For instance
, free time could be spent on courses,
sport
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sports
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 sections,
spa
Fix the agreement mistake
spas
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 and
traveling
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travelling
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high-quality entertainment requires a lot of money. For
this
 reason, if work is well-paid, but does not bring satisfaction it is still possible to live a happy life.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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