IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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The majority of
people
Use synonyms
 emphasize on size of
salary
Add an article
the salary
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, employees usually overwork to achieve their goals. To my mind,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large salary influence
on
Change preposition
apply
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quality
Add an article
the quality
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 of living and degree of success. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to examine
importance
Add an article
the importance
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 of
this
Linking Words
 point of view.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, nowadays in
capitalistic
Add an article
the capitalistic
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 structure of society the standard of living depends on
size
Add an article
the size
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 of
wage
Correct article usage
the wage
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.
That is
Linking Words
 why rich
people
Use synonyms
 can allow themselves
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better education, medical insurance and
traveling
Change the form of the verb
travel
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.
The
Correct article usage
apply
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75% of employees increasingly choose the perspective of making a lot of money
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
 satisfaction with work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, wealthy
people
Use synonyms
 are most likely to be happier and a small percentage of them have anxiety and stress. To give
illustration
Add an article
an illustration
show examples
, according to the
researching
Replace the word
research
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, stress is the crucial reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 cancer. So, there are more employees who have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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 to increase
length
Add an article
the length
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 of their lives.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not have to be satisfied with their job to live happily. Once the salary is big enough, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great possibility to spend it on your own pleasure in
a
Change the word
your
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 free time.
For instance
Linking Words
, free time could be spent on courses,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 sections,
spa
Fix the agreement mistake
spas
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 and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high-quality entertainment requires a lot of money. For
this
Linking Words
 reason, if work is well-paid, but does not bring satisfaction it is still possible to live a happy life.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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